Unrequited Sex or Unreturned Love?

There is a sure boundlessness in unrequited love. Undiscovered, it has no limits, no end point. Unrequited love is unequivocally unbounded in light of the fact that never truly having started, there’s been no time for thwarted expectation to set in. The cherished, regularly inaccessible, uninterested, occupied, or unapproachable beloved can remain an object of inconclusive glorification.

That said, what is unrequited sex? I don’t need to tell that sexuality is a gift. All of us know it, intimately. We understand how it can touch the soul and body in ways that are truly unique. Most of us have experienced the highs of what it can bring. We have no difficulty in pleasuring ourselves fully, deeply and honestly. I too can write volumes on the subject! However, that is not what I am here to discuss. I am not here to discuss being comfortable with your own sexuality. What I am going to discuss here is the sadness that most individuals come to associate with unreciprocated sexual encounters. That is definitely a problem.

We often hear stories about sexual part of a relationship fading out after a few months or years. In such a situation, when both the partners are still trying to stay together, but one of them is disinterested in sex, the other partner experiences unrequited sex. Too many months of getting into bed with someone who has little interest in sexual sharing lays down a pattern of association between sexual desire and sadness at a lack of reciprocation. This feeling is unrequited sex and it is definitely an association that you don’t want to have. Ever!

It is interesting to note that Ojas, a subtle essence, which is not a physical substance but more like the essential energy of the immune system, is created by the pure reproductive fluid – Shukra. A strong Ojas can be created only when two individuals who feel equal love and desire for each other, come together in a physical union. The casual sexual encounters experienced during unreciprocated sex can never contribute to the formation of Ojas. Similarly, when one partner is not interested in sex, Ojas cannot be created. Ayurveda regards unrestricted sexual activity as one of the acts most detrimental to health, not because sex in itself is bad, but because it strains the nerves and exhausts the bodily tissues, thus creating irritability in a person and decreasing Ojas. This can also be attributed to emotional dissatisfaction caused by emotionally unfulfilling sexual union.

Sexuality, by its very nature, is intended to be shared. It enhances the lives of two individuals involved together in ways that are hard to describe. Moreover, those who are yet to experience it may not completely understand the concept of unrequited sex. When two people have shared a common approach to sexual intimacy and satisfaction, the depths of fulfilment and pleasure experienced by them binds them into cords that can be felt only by those individuals. Ultimately, no matter how comfortable and alive we feel in our individual sexuality, sharing it with another brings a richness which can’t be experienced alone. When one partner falls out of love or becomes disinterested in sex, the other partner feels like a stranger in a familiar territory. This is when the individual experiences unrequited sex.

For various reasons, when a long-term partner or spouse loses interest in sex, relegating it to the ‘once in a while, when I’m in the mood’ part of their lives, the predicament faced by the other person in the relationship is not the same as someone who is single. The opportunities for finding another partner are not only slim, there is a lot at stake, which this article is too short to cover.

So, the ultimate result is – the gift of sexuality, which all of us treasure, which this individual also once treasured, now feels like a burden. They want to get rid of it or want to give in to the desire of fulfilling it with a willing, more reciprocating partner. What they miss in life is someone to love them fully through their body. A partner who could open his heart to sufficient passion, and wide enough. Someone who would be comfortable receiving their open, loving sexuality in return.

I have faith in your ability to find true passion to complement your sexuality. I have faith in your ability to find what you completely, truly deserve.