Unrequited Love and Sexuality.
Too many months of getting into bed with someone who has little interest in sexual sharing lays down a pattern of association between sexual desire and sadness at a lack of reciprocity in the desiring partner. We often hear stories about sexual part of a relationship fading out after a few months or years. In such a situation, when both the partners are still trying to stay together, but one of them is disinterested in sex, the other partner experiences unrequited sex. This feeling is unrequited sex and it is definitely an association that you don’t want to have. Ever!
Sexual encounters in unrequited love continually nag at the lover reminding them of constantly unfulfilled desire and its shared expression. The gender of the lover doesn’t matter. Both men and women feel sadness washing over them at the sorry realization of such a situation. How many lovers feel like this, I wondered. When your partner gives you a cold shoulder, night after night. When you sit and think about it, there could be many who might be willing to have sex with you, and others who might give open-hearted loving a try, but there are few who would provide both, especially to someone who is already committed to a partner. In this situation, the desiring partner, who is also an unrequited lover, starts feeling there’s something wrong with their sexuality, and then end up acting accordingly.
They carry around this wonderful gift of unrequited sexuality, longing to give it to someone, share it with someone, but with no one to receive it. Surely there are many hot-blooded, spiritual-minded people on the planet who need a good match. Some are bound in a relationship and do not want to risk it, others just fail to find one. The question arises, how do they manage, given that an unwilling partner can never completely fulfil the desire of a union. Sexuality, by its very nature, is intended to be shared. It enhances the lives of two individuals involved together in ways that are hard to describe. In most cases, it is not just about a lack of sexual action. No, it’s more than that. What they miss in life is someone to love them fully through their body. A partner who could open his heart to sufficient passion, and wide enough. Someone who would be comfortable receiving their open, loving sexuality in return.
Though I prefer to see it as a genderless issue; as something that relates more to a certain type of person rather than to a particular gender, most of the comments and messages I’ve received in response to articles I’ve written, have been from men. These readers refer to the difficulty of finding a partner who matches their desire to share deep intimacy and sexuality. So, I am assuming that perhaps it is more of a male issue. Or perhaps the women are just not speaking out as much? It certainly, although not exclusively, seems to be more common among those who have reached a level of maturity in themselves and have done a degree of personal growth work.
Nothing in the world can guarantee someone who would reciprocate your love, intimacy and sexuality perpetually, or promise that you wouldn’t be left sad in a relationship one day. So, train your bodyworker, your higher self to help you release the sadness that unrequited sexual union follows or builds up inside you. Let your conscious mind work on the sense of completeness within you. Let it find happiness where it lies buried in the cells of your body. Let it reconnect you to the natural joy that sexuality inherently carries when we come to it from a place of innocence.
Living in an urban area with a denser population, the opportunities to find a like-minded/hearted/bodied partner is presumably greater than it is in a rural or small community. What the solution to this is, particularly when living within an area that has a small population, I’m not sure. But my experience of both bliss and frustration with this topic has led me to two main conclusions, both of which seem obvious but deserve elaborating on.
I am going to discuss those conclusions in my next article. So, keep checking back if this interests you. Please leave your comments in the message section and I will add them to my future posts.