Unrequited Love Is Devoid of Connection.
The greatest strength that is expressed through an individual is ‘Connection’. What you spontaneously and effortlessly connect with is what really matters in life. Connecting with an idea, with possibilities, connecting with people, and above all, connecting to the beauty that lies within you. When you start making a connection with yourself, you realise that there is much more to you than this relationship that is holding you back from discovering the actual you. Separation may seem truly painful at times and not so painful at other times. It is because of the constant fight between intensities and beliefs of the visible you and the actual you. The deeper you connect with yourself, the clearer you will be able to see what you really want.
It is important to recognise when a stage of life, a job, a relationship is over and let go. It requires leaving what’s over, without denying its validity or its importance in our past lives. This involves a belief that every exit is followed by an entry, a sense of future, a belief that we are moving on, and not moving out. In everyone’s life there are some separations that are worth mentioning. To think about how they brought forth more liveliness, a certain kind of lightness of being, as you endure the pain. Consider it as retiring well in order to live well. Do not make your life a holding action, but a process. With every unrequited love experience, pain of being rejected keeps getting weaker, however, there still remains one such love that hurts even after years.
Learn to gracefully and gratefully exit from a chapter of life that is over without prolonging and stretching something that has lived its life. Unless you realise the importance of letting go, you will not learn that we don’t leave the best part of ourselves behind, back in the broken marriage or love affair. We own what we learnt there. The experience is grafted onto our lives. When you exit, you exit with an experience that will make your further relationships better.
There are times when a vivacious and cheerful person might happen to fall in love with a sociopath. Someone who shows all signs of a promising future. Someone smart, beautiful, warm and talented. Even if you have dated a lot and were widely admired, you may become a victim of wrong choice, which eventually leads to broken relationships and unrequited love. Any charismatic person who makes you smile and sweeps you off your feet is not to be dated or married. Did you know that acting desperate is a guaranteed way to turn off the person you might be romantically interested in? trust me when I say this. All those made-up compliments are not going to help you get the person’s attention, so refrain. A compliment here or there is fine, but constant attention is a sign of desperation and no one with some sense likes that.
The concept of unrequited love may sound out of date. But, as evidenced by the huge number of people searching the term online, human concerns haven’t really changed all that much since good old Will Shakespeare purportedly wrote “Love is the most beautiful of dreams and the worst of nightmares.”
They say when you have found your soulmate, you don’t even need to speak, in order to connect with each other. A soulmate ensures your personal growth and achievement, even if it means losing you. The kindness that you receive from a soulmate is unconditional and non-judgemental. To have a better understanding of the types of relationships that will form a part of your life and how to work with relationship chemistry, will help you find the right person to fall in love with; someone who will match down to the depths of your soul. In my article Relationships and Unrequited Love, I have discussed about few such relationships, one of which is Soulmates.
It is always good to associate with someone who allows you to grow. A good relationship is where both partners feel the support of being pushed to achieve their best, yet being loved for what they are. Let your partner feel important in the relationship. Praise and encouragement can work better than power and controlling. If you are able to convey this to the unrequited lovers, confused lovers, people in unattainable love, or those who are in one-way love in or out of a relationship, you have definitely made good use of what unrequited love has taught you. Be the light.
I have loved my friend for 12 years. There was a point in time when he loved me too, but that has long since passed. I was scared to tell him I loved him at that point and now he doesn’t love me.
This is hard. We have been having sex on and off for 12 years. I feel more intimacy and more connected with him now, than ever before. I know he feels it too. I can feel it, he sighs like he’s longed for me and afterwards we fall asleep. He holds me all through the night. But I cannot sleep well in his bed. My mind is flooded with how much I need him to say he loves me. My thoughts are now so strong, if I spend the night, he now has restless sleep. If I try hard and quiet my mind, he falls asleep. The knowledge that he is connected to my thoughts and energy so strongly, makes this even harder to accept.
Last year I told him how I felt. He said he didn’t feel the same way. At one point he suggested that we stop having sex, to help my heart heal. I said no. I need some connection and he innitiates all sexual contact. He holds my hand when we go out together and invites me to hangout or attend events with his co-workers, family and friends. I feel like he has to know that he hurts me. He spends quality time with me and then nothing for weeks. But if I need anything, even if I’m hours away, he comes and rescues me. He always has, even bad break-ups.
I’m lost. I feel like I want to die when I’m crying. Not even the thought of my two children make the thoughts go away. I know I am exhibiting signs of depression and I can work on it. I can try. I just need to know that I’m correct to believe that the structure of our relationship is flawed, and not only by my hand.
I can’t take another person who meets us or knows us, to ask why we aren’t a couple. I can’t take anyone else commenting on how he looks at me. I die 1000 times with every question and comment.
Oh and I cannot sleep anymore. 30mg Restoril doesn’t even work. Help me please.
Wow ! Your situation sounds devastating. We can’t ever make people fall in love with us. It’s a sad fact and it does always hurt when we invest our love, our feelings and our emotions into someone and not for them to give us all that back .
In the situation you described above it sounds like you are addicted to the person. You love them but your addiction of them prevails.
It’s always had to let go of things and people we hugely invest in.
What if their was a bank and you put $100000 into an account of your and all that money was gone but the manager told you to invest another $1000 more to get it all back. Of course you would invest more in hopes to get it back. Even if you knew that you wouldn’t get any back you would put your last $1000 into it.
The above situation is toxic and hope this example shows that you are investing your thoughts and emotions in someone who can never return those emotions .
At this point, no matter what advice you get you will not be able to follow as your heart and soul are addicted to the person.
All I can say is follow your heart but take the direction your mind tells you to.
Emotional aren’t the people who let their emotions control them. Emotional people control their emotions and live life constructively .
Give yourself a break from all this pain and misery.
It’s going to burn like hell in the beginning like ending all addictions does but it will get better with time.
You were put on this earth to live, love and respect yourself first and in return you love and respect others with a infinite magnitude .
Stop disrespecting your existence and cherish you soul.