Unrequited Love Experience.
Until now, you have mostly kept the other person as the center of your life. Change that. Make yourself the most important person of your life. Using drugs and alcohol to cope or turn to emotional eating for comfort is not what you want to do! In the hundreds of articles that I have written about unrequited love, rejection and broken relationships, I might have thus far painted a mainly dismal picture of the impact of rejection. So, today I thought of adding a more optimistic note.
Be sensible and use this as a learning to make yourself a better person. The fact of the matter is that love isn’t supposed to hurt. It’s only in the wanting of someone who doesn’t reciprocate our affections that pain creeps in. Unfortunately, we are not as well informed about taking care of the emotional wounds as we are about the physical wounds. We know, deep down, we’ll never truly capture this particular heart. But we don’t hesitate to rake ours over the coals, hoping against hope they’ll match our love eventually. Why do we try so hard when all signs point to disappointment?
Those who consider love to be an aesthetic response would hold that love is knowable through the emotional and conscious feeling it provokes yet which cannot perhaps be captured in rational or descriptive language. As discussed in my post Unrequited Love and Sex in Perspective, products of the reproductive system are the seventh dhatu or bodily tissue. The reproductive tissue is the cream of all the body’s metabolic efforts and hence, the sperm and ovum are considered the end result of the metabolism of the preceding six tissues. If the quality of the reproductive tissue is pure, then the greatest miracle of the body can be performed. The miracle of creating a child. A strong desire to intimate with another person physically and emotionally, when unreturned, becomes unrequited love.
So, there is unrequited love and then there is unattainable unrequited love. Unattainable love is always unrequited but unrequited love is not always unattainable. Confused? Ok, so if you fall in love with a best friend and your love is not reciprocated, it is unrequited love, but it is not unattainable. Your friend might start reciprocating your feeling someday. However, if you fall in love with Brad Pitt, your love is definitely going to remain unattainable love, and also unrequited. He doesn’t even know you exist!
Dating is supposed to be about having fun and enjoying yourself. Don’t ruin the fun by stressing about the future. When someone asks you out on a date, consider it a casual night out rather than immediately thinking about the future or the things it can lead to. During a date, stay focused on the moment and the conversation. Avoid letting your mind wander to over-analyzing your date or wondering if this is a failed relationship in the making. Your date will also appreciate you more if you are relaxed and engaged throughout the night.
It’s human to desire things we can’t get. This is equally applicable to unattainable romantic partners. Why is the unattainable so hot? The standard answer is that The Unattainable is in some sense rare and that makes it so precious. Rare things are valuable. When we hold someone valuable, we want that man or woman we can’t get.
It has been proven that a broken heart is not just a metaphor. When a person is emotionally hurt, it is the same as a physical wound. It needs to be taken care of and it needs to heal as well. It’s important that you take care of yourself when you feel lonely following rejection or breakup, because this is the time when you are vulnerable and can easily become a victim of unrequited love.
Never fool yourself into believing that they are still to realise the feeling. You are preparing for a big disappointment if you do. Just think for a moment how wonderful it’s going to feel when you no longer have to be obsessed about that person. How you’ll be able to choose whether to think about them or not. And when you do, you are able to feel calm and detached, putting it down to part of life’s rich tapestry of experience.