Unrequited Love Despair.
What is the advice on accepting friendship with someone you have romantic feelings for? How can two people experience the same connection in different ways? One feels as if he has met his soulmate. When they are together, it feels as if they’ve known each other forever. He feels calm, comfortable and at ease in the other person’s presence. However, when he approaches the other person about taking friendship to another level, he finds that his feelings are not reciprocated. Yet, they remain close friends, and the rare chances they get to spend together are very pleasant. When the other person is not present, he finds himself in an extreme state of anxiety and sadness, approaching deep despair. He does all he can to stop his love from growing, but is unable to accept the other person as a friend. He is at a point where part of him wants to toss away the friendship, but the other person’s care and concern for him are quite evident.
What can we suggest this person suffering in unrequited love? How can we help him meditate or help him connect with the universe and accept that this relationship is not going to develop into anything further? It is not easy to bear the emotional pain. It can easily affect the unrequited lover’s job, friends and even health. If he is right about he and his friend being some form of soulmates, how can their connection be so different?
First of all, I understand that love can be compelling, but how we share and express love is totally a matter of choice. Both the partners are and should be free to choose when it comes to relationships. This is true even with soulmate relationships. The reason why you feel so comfortable and at ease with each other is because a soulmate is a part of the same soul group or soul family – you are literally kindred souls. However, being soulmates does not guarantee an intimate relationship or even a pleasant relationship. Sometimes, you find a soulmate in unrequited love. Just like in the situation that I have discussed above.
Unrequited or one-way love is never fulfilling, even if you have the other person close to you, as a best friend. As discussed in my blog Unrequited Love and Soulmate Cultivation, evolving in a relationship requires two bodies and minds to meditate together, into each other. This meditation is mostly in the form of sexual union of two individuals. The space where you experience fulfilment of the deepest needs of intimacy, deep nurturing into an expansive state of Consciousness. When you have found your soulmate, you automatically slip into this kind of meditation; and when you walk out, you have faith in your capability to handle the not-so-good situations. Your union with your soulmate is conducive of highly developed level of spirituality and self-realisation.
Sometimes, you may have a sacred contract to be together in this lifetime, the contract is not about romantic love. In such a case, the relationship is meant to teach you about love itself, and how deeply you can feel for another person on a platonic level, or how deeply you can be hurt in love. I have often said that we play different roles for each other in order to help each other grow and evolve, when we incarnate over and over again with members of our soul group. There is a sacred contract with these souls, that is pre-destined, but we also have the power of free will to override some aspects of these contracts. We are free to override even the aspects of our own destiny.
When your love is unreturned, someone has broken a sacred contract with you. I agree it is extraordinarily painful to let go of. Understand that, in essence, they may not actually be rejecting you, rather they are probably resisting their own destiny, or they may be afraid of love at that depth. But remember what I have said above. You have the ability and the power to override this contract. Understand that Karma has taken a full circle, you have learnt your lesson and now is the tome to move on, to snap back, get hold of your life and find a better, more fulfilling relationship.