Unrequited Love and Loneliness.

As the world gets more and more connected, it becomes easier to feel left out. Loneliness, in fact, is more dangerous than isolation because it increases a person’s mortality rate. Loneliness is a natural feeling that most people don’t want to experience. Do you often find yourself feeling that way? You’re not the only one, that’s for sure. You may be wondering how to go about tackling these feelings of loneliness. First, you have to have a better understanding of yourself. Then, you can start making changes to overcome your feelings of loneliness. Whether you’re prone to loneliness as the result of a missing loved one or place, or if you’re preparing for a time spent away from your friends and family, there are many ways to avoid loneliness, some of which I am going to discuss further. Look at changes you can make by yourself, incorporate more time with friends and family into your life, and learn how to avoid addictive coping mechanisms. It’s normal to feel lonely after a breakup or when your love is rejected. What is somewhat not normal is to hold on to that feeling and let it keep pulling you down.

Breakups can be heart-wrenchingly painful, and it can be difficult to adjust to being single. You are grieving the loss of your ex and feel a void in your life from his absence. This period can be extremely lonely. However, you can handle loneliness after a breakup by reaching out to others and taking care of yourself. As I have discussed in my post Falling In and Falling Out, fulfilment in life involves romantic relationships as a crucial element for many people. In the absence of a romantic relationship, most people tend to become desolate and lonely. An individual’s narcissist needs start anticipating an ideal romance after finding a partner. However, as the relationship grows, a more mature and realistic relationship will evolve from a healthy partnership. This will be strengthened by friendship, inter-dependence, loyalty and companionship kind of superego related values and not from unreturned, one-way love. Even if you are clear in your mind that you want just this one person for your life to be happy, I bet that nowhere in your list of intentions do you want your partner to not love you as much as you love them. Yet, this is all that you are getting by being in unrequited love. Aspire to create an exclusive, loving, joyful and fun-filled relationship for yourself.

Friends

I know all you want to do is to sulking, cry and camp out in your bed after a rejection, but is that going to help? Can that go on perpetually? It will only make you feel lonelier. Help stop a pattern of loneliness by forcing yourself to spend time with other people. Make plans with your friends and follow through on those plans. Go watch a movie, have a coffee with friends or just go for a walk. By making plans and avoiding isolation, you will feel less lonely.

Change Priorities

It’s important that you take care of yourself when you feel lonely following rejection or breakup. Until now, you have mostly kept the other person as the center of your life. Change that make yourself the most important person of your life. Using drugs and alcohol to cope or turn to emotional eating for comfort is not what you want to do! Be sensible and use this as a learning to make yourself a better person.

Counselling

This does not always mean taking therapy. Find someone you trust, such as a close friend or family member, and talk about how you feel. It feels good to let the other (trusted) person know know about your feelings and to know that they understand. It’s alright to tell your best friend how you cry yourself to sleep at night.

Keep Yourself Busy

Accept that feeling lonely is a normal part of being human and that you have the power to change your situation. This attitude will help you move on sooner and combat your loneliness. Join a hobby class, learn a new musical instrument, take dance classes or go camping. Now that you have some extra time on your hands, it would be a good time to become involved in your community.