Unrequited Love or Crush?
All of us grow up thinking the only love that counts as true love is the kind that lasts forever or is fully realized. The first thing a stranger will ask when you have a broken heart is ‘How long were you two together?’ Like if you were together longer, it would hurt more! Is that how you determine the pain an individual feels in love? What if we weren’t together at all? It shouldn’t hurt? I think the pain felt in unrequited love is just as valid as the pain felt after a breakup. It’s just as crushing. No matter what happens when you are in unrequited love, remember that what you are doing is selfless and beautiful and kind. You are loving someone purely because you love them, not because you think you’ll ever have your affections reciprocated. You are admiring something for its beauty, without needing to own it. Feel good about being the kind of person who loves selflessly. I think someday you’ll find someone who loves you in that exact same way.
Some Awesome Points
How long you were together is not important. There is no pain-o-meter for a broken heart that measures the intensity of pain by months or years you were in a relationship. The length of time doesn’t matter; the depth of the passion does. The hardest part of ending is ending, followed by starting again. It sucks no matter the duration.
Even if this love is not meant to be reciprocated, your feelings are absolutely valid, and that’s important, since there is nothing worse than having people dismiss your love just because it is not reciprocated. All too often, many people in a balanced or unbalanced love relationship are quick to shrug off unrequited love as fleeting, unimportant, inexperienced, in the now and not life-changing when it is the opposite of all those things. Know your worth. You do not need anyone to validate you. Not your parents, nor your co-workers, not your friends and not your lover. Your worth is not dependent on another. Your value is not based on external factors. It is built into you. Self-esteem comes from within you. You are valuable and unique, no matter what. You always have been and you always will be. No one can take that away. Ever.
Take a little time for some self-discovery and get reacquainted with YOU!
When you start to realize who you really are, you also begin to realize all that you have to offer. Which is a lot! You remember how important and lovable you are. Then you start living life with a sense of mission. The mission of being true to yourself and working toward becoming all you were meant to be! Self-realization or self-actualization is for you, too!
This might sound off the subject, but it is my personal experience and I wanted to share it here – meditation or how to go on inner journeys or how to use a method for letting go of undesirable feelings, thoughts, etc. are helpful techniques. Learn to let go of all the bitterness (if any) that unrequited love has built up inside you. Let go of the anger as well as any sense of hopelessness or discouragement you may have about your future. The continuity of spiritual life is timeless. While everyone has a different belief about reincarnation, it is also a common belief that the soul chooses to re-embody into a physical dimension for further expression. You may read about this in detail in my post More About Karma of Choice.
Now, there is a crush and then there is unrequited love. To call a crush unrequited love is stretching it a little too much. A crush is a crush. You get butterflies in your tummy. Your palms sweat. But it usually doesn’t last. If you unrequitedly loved every dude you crushed on, you would be all out of love sooner than you can imagine!
A crush is different from this kind of love. The unreturned love changes you on a cellular level, when there is more at stake, like a ticking biological clock. To most people, that is the truest unrequited love, as opposed to having a crush on a guy at a young age when you are not even aware of the consequence of broken relationships or unreturned love.
Trust me ,when you look back at your crush in two years, you will say “OMG! WTF was I thinking when I liked him?! Ew!”