Unrequited Love and Detachment.
Like our eyes are structures of physical substance and are used to see physical matter, the third eye is a structure of subtle substances and is designed to see the subtle realms. I have written about this in detail in my blog Unrequited Love and Regression. As we all know, the world is far more complex than meets the physical eye. In order to explore the non-physical dimensions, beings, forces and, energies, an individual requires vision of such things. It is not possible to explore much in this realm without the third eye and this is also why most other techniques of psychoanalysis fail to help the unrequited lovers beyond a point, as they are unable to reach any real depth of an individual’s subconscious. To look deeper within yourself and into other dimensions of your being, the third eye is an essential structure.
It is interesting to know that our bodies are electrical in make-up. Our thoughts travel to our beloved, acting like telephone circuits to communicate energy impulses through our nerves. As I have written in my blog Cutting Cords in Unrequited Love, cords are made of etheric and astral energy and connect the subtle bodies of lovers. They stretch between them like an umbilical cord and perform the function of transferring emotional energy between the two. Even if you are far away from each other, the cords continue to transfer energy, as they are not a physical substance; they are effective even from a distance.
Constant flow of thoughts to a particular person, place or thing directs our energy to them, connecting us to that object. In this way, when an unrequited lover constantly thinks about his beloved, cords automatically form between two individuals, sending more energy and becoming thicker and bigger as the lover thinks more about the beloved. This phenomenon attaches the lover’s energy to that object, leading to loss of energy in the lover. This loss of energy is called ‘giving power away’, and is the main reason why an unrequited lover easily puts a lot of important matters of life aside, while pursuing his love object. In this case, energies not only flow between two people, but also get entangled with each other.
The entanglement of cords that attaches us to something, eventually leaves us encumbered and lessens our ability to move freely. In Buddhist terms, suffering has been defined in one word as ‘attachment’. However, this does not mean disconnecting from life and people to avoid suffering. It means not falling in love out of neediness or insecurity. Connecting through your heart but connecting from a place of loving detachment and not for ego enhancement or to prove something to someone or for some kind of gain. The love should be heartfelt, coming from a truly loving corner of our heart.
When we are able to give our love freely, when just to love someone feels like appreciation of self, without any strings attached; that is the state of loving detachment. It is very important for unrequited lovers to understand this form of love, because if you are able to love with detachment, the one-way love will not have as much negative impact on you. If you are able to love the unavailable object like we love the beauty of the setting sun, knowing that this beauty belongs to nature and you can only watch it, and let it have the calming effect on you, without expecting anything, then unrequited love does not encumber you. It does not pull energy from you. It simply Loves.
As i have discussed in my blog Unrequited Lovers Falling Upward, when asked about the severity of their suffering in unrequited love, the lovers reported more intense suffering than rejecters. While rejecters feel mild doses of negative affect, lovers suffer more extreme forms of emotional distress. Though rejecters don’t necessarily have uniformly unpleasant experiences. Even if romantic attention from a lover was seen as unattractive or undesirable, most declared themselves flattered by such confessions, at least initially. As a result, rejecters have been reported to get more positive boosts to self-esteem than the rejected lovers.
So whenever you feel that you ‘need’ the love of your beloved, you attach a cord with them, however, this cord doesn’t connect through the heart. It connects through other, less clear places. This kind of connection pulls and sucks at the lover’s energy and does not work for the higher good of anyone.
True love is unconditional. Do not place expectations or conditions on it. Give it freely.
Please share your experiences and I will add them to my future blogs.