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Self-Improvement in Unrequited Love

Self-Improvement in Unrequited Love.

There are times when unrequited love can affect your perception of the world and yourself and thus your self-esteem and your entire life experience. Does the idea of being loved make you uncontrollably happy? So happy that simple friendly behaviour makes you look for signs of love? If yes, you need to really work on improving your self-esteem. As discussed in my blog Unrequited Love – Resistance to Change, how important you are as a person is not, in any way, dependent on being loved by someone of the opposite gender. While it might look like all the stars are loved by a million fans, it is only half of the truth. The other half is that all fans are unrequited lovers, just like you!

Self-Improvement and How It Will Help You

There are a few things to become aware of and realize about unrequited love, so let’s take it from the beginning with the signs, move through to middle where you understand what’s going on and end up at the point where you actually improve your life experience in practice. Let’s do it in these steps:

  • Recognize the symptoms or signs of unrequited love / one way love
  • Understand the reasons for unrequited love / one way love
  • Learn how to deal with or recover from unrequited love / one way love

-which is what this self-improvement article is all about.

Symptoms / Signs of One Way Love

Here’s the simplest way to find out if your love is one way love: Ask the other person. Yep, that’s right. Simply ask, and you will know. Of course, you may very well be afraid to ask, so let’s look at making a layman’s ‘diagnosis’ of your particular ‘condition’. Maybe you will recognize the signs of unrequited one way love. Also, try to find answers within. Nobody knows how to help you more than yourself. Because humans are sensually oriented, anything that makes us feel better, becomes a habit. Tending these through introspection, meditation and constant mental training can help distinguish between desire and attachment. Relationships come and go, they don’t always work. More often, they never work. All things pass. Not just in unrequited or one-way love; even if you’re happily married, people do die or people move on, things change. You must be ready to let go and say to yourself logically “this doesn’t look as if it’s going to work” and always come back to the relationship that you have with yourself. I have written about this in detail in my blog More About Unrequited Love and Karma. Turn the energy around and create the relationship of your dreams by following the ‘Map’ that I have discussed before, and one by one take apart the components of your creation.


Now, unrequited one way love comes in different degrees, of course, from the temporary infatuation to the deeply felt, all-consuming one way love-me-or-I’ll-die unbridled passion or love obsession. One way unrequited love is just like falling in love, really, except it’s not reciprocated. And as you may well be aware, falling in love can pretty much make you a peculiar brand of crazy! Rapid as no other fixation would ever be, your ability to continue goes crazy. Discontinuously, you may attempt to separate yourself from your very controlling fixation. But it consistently returns, first perhaps as a reverberation, then a constantly infringing drumbeat, then at last a sonic blast difficult to disregard.

So, in its more powerful aspects unrequited one way love will often cause temporary personality changes, affect the decisions you make, and have an impact on your emotional well being, your relationships and your social life in general. I would think the reason lies in the human need to belong. We are fundamentally social to the extent that other animals cannot imagine. Animals generally learn about their world with the use of their five senses. Humans learn about the world from each other. Social connection is the blood and breath of human life, and rejection strikes at its very core. As discussed in my blog Psychology of Rejection in Unrequited Love, human need to belong is much deeply rooted than any other social animal. This is partially because we are shaped by nature to create and sustain culture. Here, I don’t mean the culture of a country or community. Culture as a highly complex and flexible system of the society, based on role differentiation. We have been made by nature specifically to sustain culture.

In my next blog, I am going to discuss some important signs of unrequited one way love in the border land of love obsession. Please share your experiences and I will add them to my future blogs.

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