Unrequited Love – Resistance to Change.
Treating your partner or beloved like a project that you need to work on, like something to ‘improve’, is disrespectful and can make the person feel like you don’t appreciate them for who they are or even know them at all. Not like all unrequited lovers try to change their partners, but people in a relationship, trying to get someone to wear more trendy clothes, go out for work, act how you think they should, begs the question- what did you see in this person to begin with? As discussed in my blog Unrequited Love and Choices, dating someone new should be fun, exciting, and enjoyable. If you can monitor and influence your own behaviour during this ‘getting to know’ phase, you have more hope of getting to know whether you and they really will work together without needing to blame anyone if it doesn’t work out. Surely, nobody marries or forms a relationship with a plan to separate or divorce.
There are times when unrequited love can really affect your perception of the world and yourself and thus your self-esteem and your entire life experience. Does the idea of being loved make you uncontrollably happy? So happy that simple friendly behaviour makes you look for signs of love? If yes, you really need to work on improving your self-esteem. How important you are as a person is not, in any way, dependent on being loved by someone of the opposite gender. While it might look like all the stars are loved by a million fans, it is only half of the truth. The other half is that all fans are unrequited lovers, just like you!
As discussed in my blog Guiding Out, it is important to steer away from the object of your love, once you have realised that your love is never going to be reciprocated. Have faith that the intuition is strong enough to giving you deliverance. It talks to you through your gut feelings, heart feelings, and head feelings. This is the seventh sense that bounces you on the head and says “get the hell away from this person”, but unfortunately, it is equally true that most people in love are oblivious to this voice of their inner self.
I know it hurts, acknowledge the situation nevertheless. Love yourself enough to not throw yourself at someone who doesn’t even understand your feeling, let alone reciprocate. When unrequited love has sucked confidence and happiness out of your life, take small steps towards gaining back normalcy. It is also important to have faith that there is going to be another love for you, and soon!
Unreturned love can be consuming, crippling, and actually hinder your ability to live your life. Realizing that your feelings are not reciprocated can be hurtful, frustrating, or may even make you angry. Well, it may be hard, but you can overcome, and reach a point where you look back with much greater understanding and revelation.
Resistance to change in your one-way love life is natural in almost all unrequited love cases. You may not yet be in an emotional place where you want help or change or personal development in the area of your one-way love. You might still be holding on in hope of reciprocation. If so, you can read this series of my articles as mere science fiction. But it’s a useful kind of fiction, because when you do decide you want to move on, you will be better equipped to do so.
There are a few things you must recognize and understand to successfully walk through the situation and prepare yourself to meet someone who will share your heart and return your love. Remember that you are the creator of your own experiences – you can choose to let unrequited love ‘destroy’ you or you can make the decision to use the situation as an opportunity for growth and self-development.
It sounds good doesn’t it? Very nice and mature and ideal. But, if you are an unrequited lover, you are probably thinking that the only way you will be satisfied is if the target of your affection suddenly realizes that you are the person of their dreams.
Lighten up. You’re not alone. I understand, unrequited love is just no fun and all that stuff about personal development and self-growth probably sounds like so much baloney. But hey, if that’s you, and you’re still reading this, well, maybe you’re about ready to move on – if only someone can tell you what you need to do that.
This article is a part of a larger article about the signs and psychology of unrequited love. You can read more about this in my future blogs. I will follow up with a new article about signs and symptoms of unrequited love. If you have been following my previous articles, by now you should have a good understanding of the fundamentals of unrequited love and associated psychology. It might be wise to re-read those articles, or bookmark them to grab back whenever you encounter a subject that I have written about!
Got something to share? Please write your experiences in the comments section and i will add them to my future blogs.