Introspection in Unrequited Love.
Getting out of unrequited love is not a one-time act. You are going to have to try many ways to be able to take things quietly, patiently and intelligently. Only those of you who really want to get over the pain of unrequited love, find true love in life, and are not merely looking for easy ways to find success in your search for a soulmate will be able to work out of curiosity to understand the various complications and problems that each human being has, for to understand is to resolve them and be completely free of them.
There are certain things that cannot be taken for granted. For example, communication. It is important in every relationship that both the partners understand the importance of communication. It is important to understand what the word means to each one, what is involved, what is the structure and nature of communication. When a couple communicates with each other, there must be an understanding at intellectual level. Along with understanding of what is being said, it is also important to understand by implication, learning and listening.
When your love is unrequited, there is little chance of understand between you and your beloved, because the feeling is definitely not reciprocated. You might be great friends with each other, but this seldom compares to the fulfilment of communicating with a partner. Communication is essential for two individuals to feel connected and for a sense of belonging.
Each one of us has a past. Our past is the background that we gain knowledge from. It forma our prejudices. Experiences of suffering in a relationship or in unrequited love form the innumerable complex issues involved in relationship. Hence, our past has a big role to play in how we see today’s relationships and how we choose the person we love. This background decides how we perceive what we hear from our current partner. After all, each one of us is the result of our culturally complex life. We are the result of our culture, education and the experiences of not only a few years, but of centuries.
Most people consider themselves very sensible to never have been in unrequited love. It is normally considered stupid for someone to waste energy, time and emotions on a person who doesn’t want to reciprocate the feeling, or worse, isn’t even aware of it. What we seem to not think about is- why would someone deliberately do this to himself? Who wants to be sad and rejected? Don’t all of us want to be happy in love?
Does the idea of being loved make you uncontrollably happy? So happy that simple friendly behaviour makes you look for signs of love? If yes, you really need to work on improving your self-esteem. How important you are as a person is not, in any way, dependent on being loved by someone of the opposite gender. While it might look like all the stars are loved by a million fans, it is only half of the truth. The other half is that all fans are unrequited lovers, just like you! Think back and introspect. You may realise that you might be someone who wants to be in love perpetually. You catch love like a virus and refuse to be treated, but you act like there is actually no cure for you. The world of fantasy appeals to you. All things unreal and spontaneous give you the ‘kick’, however, the truth of the matter is that fantasizing about the love object doesn’t ensure love for you in return. Eventually, you are left alone and heartbroken. You have to realise sooner than later that unrequited love is not meant to last forever. Only committed love is.
We live through the loss of our beloved partner and individuals in an arranged marriage also grow to loving each other more than the lovers who claim to have fallen in love at first sight. All if this happens. Life moves on; and there’s a common denominator among those who are successful at understanding this mantra. The successful ones find human connection in other family and social relationships and make the most of them. On the other hand, the unsuccessful ones move to reading my next post!
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