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Communication and Unrequited Love

Communication and Unrequited Love.

Communication is the key to healthy relationships. If your lover suddenly turns cold or unresponsive, and you don’t know why this is happening, why your love is not being reciprocated, or why it has changed to unrequited love, the first thing to do is to discuss the matter with your beloved. Have you ever examined how you listen to your partner? We are always projecting our prejudices, our background, our opinions and ideas, our inclinations, our impulses, when listening to others. All if these dominate our listening and we hardly listen to what is actually being said.

Only when you make a conscious effort to listen to what your partner is saying, and not let your own thoughts influence what you are listening to, will you be able to learn the true state of their mind. When you listen, you learn. Follow a state of attention, a state of silence when your beloved is pouring out their heart to you. Only in a conscious state of understanding would you be able to communicate well with your partner.

Other important factors that affect your listening, which is an important part of communication are – listening with the background or image that you may have created about the beloved or their action, listening to them knowing that they have a certain kind of authority – which they may, or may not, have – then obviously, you are not listening. Your listening is affected by your thoughts and you put forward a projection that prevents you from listening. In this case again, communication is not possible. Real communication can take place only when you listen without putting your own experiences and prejudices to work.

Actual communication takes place when lovers intently, seriously understand something, by bringing their eyes and ears, their nerves, their mind and heart to understand. In this attention, there is a certain quality of understanding that unrequited lovers need, to understand what led to the end of a relationship that looked like it was going to last forever.

Through actual communication there is not only learning but complete understanding of the feelings of the other person. Here, it is important to note that understanding is not too different from immediate action. When an unrequited lover listens without any intention, without any barrier, putting aside all opinions, conclusions and experiences – then, in that state they not only understand whether what is being said is true or false, but further, if it is true, there is immediate action, if it is false, there is no action at all.

Along with understanding of what is being said, it is also important to understand by implication, learning and listening. Be willing to listen to what the other person feels and open to receive those feelings. Ask the person what he/she expects from you in the future. It is important to know that no method dealing with our consciousness works on someone who doesn’t have complete faith in it. A conscious awareness and respect for the process is required for any process to be successful. Learning how to adapt to the situation and working on it is helpful. Certain methods have been helpful in getting over unrequited love, ensuring smooth exit from a situation or relationship and offering opportunity to heal the underlying issues. In many cases, you will grieve like someone who is experiencing the loss of a relationship and only time will heal the wounds and change your perspective. At first, you will have to make constant effort to refocus your energies by controlling your thoughts from wandering to that one person, but eventually this will become easier.

Very often, the process of understanding yourself, understanding your partner and understanding the relationship starts with communication after digging within yourself and uncovering your fears or insecurities. This leads to understanding. Put your thoughts into words for yourself; speak out. Once you have communicated your feelings and heard what your beloved has to say, you are done. Now let go of the thought and move on, in order to attain peace of mind. Do better the next time!

I hope this article helps in understanding the importance of communication in a relationship as well as in unrequited love. I am going to come back with more articles on the subject, so please keep looking out for my newer posts!

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