Separation and Unrequited Love.
Separation is often considered opposite to love and connection, just like death is seen as being opposite to life and relationship is seen as opposite to being alone. Yet, the truth is that until love embraces separation, it is reduced to just a needy attachment. A relationship is merely an entanglement until a lover sees the beauty of being alone. As romantic as it may sound to love someone with your heart and soul, knowing that love has long been dead in this relationship, the truth is: it hurts. It hurts so much that is becomes unbearable. I have written about this in detail in my blog Ways to Handle Unrequited Love. When your heart is breaking inside with the feeling of loneliness, the pain is almost physical. It is not that your heart is actually breaking inside your chest but it feels like it is crushed and bleeding. Every bit of your body aches with an inexplicable real pain.
Separation is a painful experience. Whether it is the separation of two lovers, or a separation between a husband and a wife. A permanent separation often leaves one of the partners in unrequited love. A separation from dearly held belief of love and togetherness is difficult to handle.
Find the side of you, within you, that’s your guide, your higher self. It will tell you this is not how it wants to see you. It knows this relationship is dead, and keeps reminding you how emotionally weak and vulnerable it is making you. I have written about this in my blog Internal Karma. When your love or attachment to your current partner, your child or for your social image has gotten hold of your life, when there is a lot of loneliness and no togetherness, there’s denial of facts and emotions. When you know you have tried everything you could, this guide within you will know that you are in denial, you don’t want to accept the facts.
The actual fact is that separation is death of a beautiful past. But it is also true that it is the birth of the present that you had never thought would be. It can lead to something new, alive, fresh and pulsating. It can be a newness that you sometimes avoid by holding on to an incomplete relationship for a lifetime. Mostly, it is the comfort of familiarity that is too alluring for us to break free and embark on the adventure of a new life. Because we resist to let the existing relationship of unrequited love die, along with our beliefs and stories. Remember, it must die so that what might be is born.
The deeper truth is that separation in itself is not painful. What is painful is the story we believe about ‘separation’, the willingness to hold on to something that is already dead, it is the trying to bring something that has lived its time, back to life.
‘When you let go of what you have, you receive what you need;
When you let go of who you are, you become who you might be’
It is one thing to understand these words, quite another to follow them.
Separation Deepens Love
The greatest strength that is expressed through an individual is ‘Connection’. What you spontaneously and effortlessly connect with is what really matters in life. Connecting with an idea, with possibilities, connecting with people, and above all, connecting to the beauty that lies within you. When you start making a connection with yourself, you realise that there is much more to you than this relationship that is holding you back from discovering the actual you. Separation may seem truly painful at times and not so painful at other times. It is because of the constant fight between intensities and beliefs of the visible you and the actual you. The deeper you connect with yourself, the clearer you will be able to see what you really want.
And then there will be another loving relationship, which will invite you to let go of your attachment to achieve what you desire! It will provoke, invoke and cajole you to see the beauty of what is, every day. It will lead you to make friends with possibilities. And amidst the death of your fears and uncertainties, there will be something that will keep coming alive more and more. Inside you, in the most fulfilling relationship of your life.
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