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Your Heart and Unattainable Love

Your Heart and Unattainable Love.

Although love is a matter of the heart, a lot of it is controlled by the activities of the brain. The brain decides if that one person is worth it, the heart just follows. I personally do not understand how a person could happily just keep giving love and never complain about not being loved back. I do not understand how this feeling keeps growing without a response from the love object! For me, love is love only when it is mutual. When we are loved back, when there is oneness, desire, respect and fulfilment. I have heard people discuss – can unattainable, unreturned love work? Does it have the capacity to last for a lifetime? You will be surprised to know how many lovers have spent a lifetime loving and only loving one person, alone!

If the other person love is not in love with you, or never was, you are actually wasting your time in trying to sort things out. If things look misbalanced, not only in unattainable love, but also when the two of you are legally or socially bound in a relationship, you need to give each other time to improve them. Discuss where the problem is and come to a mutual agreement. While this may not be a possible option in unattainable love situation, both of you need to be on the same ground. When there is too much in one direction it will throw things off, more so when the other person is unaware of your feelings, or worse, of your existence! Establishing reasons for being together and maintaining a healthy balance of interdependence will help the relationship bloom and will also let the two of you feel happy individually. And this is only possible when both of you love each other.

The emotional availability of our beloved is absolutely fundamental to whether this love is going to cause pain or bring happiness to us. Unattainable love can be an extremely destructive force in your life, if you allow it to be. The more time one-way lovers get to themselves, the more their imagination soars. When their thoughts linger around “possible rejection”, they start focussing more on despair; these fabricated stories sometimes also have a tragic end and leave the lover unhappy, low on self-confidence and sometimes even suicidal. In extreme cases, unattainable love can reduce a person to a shadow of his true self.

Some of us are always trying to analyze our relationships. While doing so, know that if you are with a person that is not Karma clear, or if you are not Karma clear yourself, you have no one to blame. If you are the one, the best test for you is the trial of loneliness. Every life has an order that extends beyond one lifetime of existence. The natural law of cause and effect maintains balance in what appears to be absolute chaos. This in effect, is natural justice. Eastern philosophies call it Karma. In the Western world, they say “what goes around, comes around”. In any case, this is the Law of the Circle. Karma however, is not about punishment. It is about growth and learning, directly through life experience. It is life’s way of teaching through ‘meeting self’. We are often taught lessons that are easily forgotten or never practised. But if you look back in time and analyse, whatever is learned through life experience, will be remembered forever.

In unattainable love, you need to accept the fact and move on. You don’t want to be an unrequited lover and hang on for no reason! What is Unattainable Love? Everyone knows what love is. How it feels and how important it is to maintain balance in life. But do we really know what unattainable love is? Some dictionaries describe unattainable love as something that allows only one-way movement of a lot of emotions, a feeling of being in love alone, with someone who is far beyond your reach and is never going to be yours.

It is that horrible feeling of loving someone, without being loved back by them. As teenagers, all of us have fallen in love with someone who we knew for a fact was never going to love us back. Remember those butterflies in the stomach at the sight of you love object? Good old days, eh? I know you are thinking about that one special person right now and smiling. So am i!

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