Watch the latest heartbreaking video about Unrequited Love

Play Video

Unrequited Love – Patterns

Unrequited Love – Patterns.

Unrequited love not only robs you of your joy and makes you feel hopeless, it can also result in many physical issues such as insomnia, listlessness, irritability, rashes, malnutrition and nausea. As discussed in my blog Typical Unrequited Lover, you may experience frustration, anger, anxiety, depression, feelings of shyness, or fear of rejection in unrequited love. Some folks tend to trivialize the importance of mind and emotions over body, calling it ‘merely psychosomatic’ but really, this is extremely powerful stuff. All these symptoms, and perhaps more like these, have a huge impact on your quality of life and prevent you from moving forward and becoming all you are meant to be – as well as being detrimental to your physical body. In other words, your one-way love has, to some degree, made you physically self-destructive. Time to think seriously!

Pattern of One Way Love

As previously mentioned, most of us have experienced unrequited love to some degree, but sometimes it can become a pattern that indicates a much bigger or more basic issue. Ask yourself- “why am I always attracted to ‘unavailable’ people?”, “why do I find myself a ‘victim’ of one way love over and over?”, “what is stopping me from engaging in a balanced, healthy, reciprocal relationship?” If you have asked these questions, or others like these to yourself, then maybe it is time for some self-exploration so you can change your perception and actions. Healthier possibilities are waiting for you just around the corner.

Unreciprocated relationships can occur for several reasons. My extensive research on the subject leads me to believe that every unrequited lover can find someone to love them back, however, there are reasons why some of them remain in one-way love or fall in love with unavailable love objects. As discussed in my blog Perspective and Unrequited Love, some people get into the destructive pattern of only falling for people who are ‘unavailable’ in some way, perhaps because they are with someone else or emotionally unable to commit to a relationship. Unconsciously making unavailability a prerequisite for falling in love is like insisting on going swimming only in dry deserts – it’s never going to work. If you have been doing this, or you suspect you have, at least become conscious of it and reflect that it’s a self-defeating strategy. Of course, it is possible that the other person simply does not share your feelings and there isn’t any deeper reason or explanation. These things just happen. But, if you find that you have become obsessed to the point of dysfunction or that unrequited love is a recurring pattern in your life, you may want to look at this list and consider the possibility of its relevance to your life.


Why unrequited love happens – Possibilities

You are attracted to reminders of your very first love

Some experts claim that your very first love sets the foundation for future relationships. If that first love was a parent who was unable to meet your emotional or physical needs, or was absent and disconnected, then you will continue to be attracted to unavailable people, even in adulthood. Having experienced unavailable parents may lead to a pattern of pursuing unavailable lovers. Knowing what may be wrong can help us all understand more how to find what is right. Most people have experienced unrequited love at some point in their lives. Those strong feelings that you feel for someone, you want them, you need them, you cannot live without them, but unfortunately, they do not feel the same way. Understand that you are in unrequited love. Whether it is a high school crush, admiration for a co-worker, or new feelings for a close friend, unrequited love often dies because most of us realize that we will likely not get the results we want, so we move on. Only, sometimes we don’t. Or, we have a hard time moving on. Do things that engage your logical, planning, strategic brain. As discussed in my blog Strategizing Against Unrequited Love, we live for our choices.

An unmet or twisted love need

You may have been raised in a home where your parents did not give you the love and affection you needed, or gave it conditionally based on behavior or performance. Thus, you may still be unconsciously trying to win this love by attempting to find success in similar ‘unavailable’ relationships. Until you ‘prove’ you can earn love in this type of relationship, you do not feel like you can move on to one that is mutually giving. Although love is a matter of the heart, a lot of it is controlled by the activities of the brain. The brain decides if that one person is worth it, the heart just follows. I personally do not understand how a person could happily just keep giving love and never complain about not being loved back. I do not understand how this feeling keeps growing without a response from the love object! For me, love is love only when it is mutual. When we are loved back, when there is oneness, desire, respect and fulfilment!

In my next blog, we’re going to look at some more typical patterns in unrequited love. Please share your experiences, they are my inspiration.

Notify of
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Play Video

Checkout The Latest Video About Unrequited Love

Would love your thoughts, please comment.x
Scroll to Top