Unrequited Love – Improvement.
The basic rule to avoid getting hurt in unrequited love is to get clarity before setting out on an improvement trip. It is alright to discuss with your beloved what you think is important for you in the relationship. If you are staying far away from each other, you will probably have different issues than what couples normally have. Each relationship is different and there are a lot of things couples can improve by discussing and understanding. Remember that you may never know why it is the way it is, and that’s okay too, because you don’t need to know what is going on with them. Your challenge actually rests entirely within yourself.
If you are a ‘victim’ of unrequited love, you have will often find yourself saying things like “I don’t understand why they don’t feel the same way” or “why can’t they see that we were meant to be together.” The truth is, romantic interests cannot be forced. As discussed in my blog Unrequited Love – The Disinterested Lover, trying to understand why a person cannot reciprocate your feelings may make it easier for you to accept the situation and help you avoid making the same mistake again. The truth is, romantic interests cannot be forced. Trying to understand why a person cannot reciprocate your feelings may make it easier for you to accept the situation and help you avoid making the same mistake again. To help you with this, here are some possible reasons why the other person might be disinterested or unable to return your love-
- the other person may harbor beliefs that are incompatible with being with you
- possibly the other person feels no emotional attraction to you
- maybe the other person is married or in another committed relationship that you are not aware of, because it is not known to a lot of people
- maybe the other person is afraid of destroying a friendship
- perhaps the other person feels no physical attraction to you
Some reasons may be hidden while the others may be more obvious. It is difficult to accept both types, but knowing or at least considering these reasons may help you deal with your feelings in a positive, productive manner and possibly move past the situation. Again, just remember: You don’t really need to know the reason.
Get Rid of Your Neediness
Understanding the importance and effect of tuning your cords with your beloved in unrequited love enables you to live healthy and yet continue to love someone, but with healthy detachment. As discussed in my blog Unrequited Love and the Need to be Loved, it is an absolute necessity to have all of your own energy in your own space in your own body. Do not direct cords towards others or influence their lives. You do not need energy from others to survive. And this also holds true for love cords. You do not need love energy flowing from your beloved to live a healthy life, but you certainly need to save your own energy from getting drained through an unrequited love cord. You have your own life plan with infinite resources of energy at your disposal. If you are experiencing discouragement, bitterness, and even anger, it is likely a result of your belief that you need someone’s love to be happy in life. You can be happy just by being yourself, just by knowing that the universe lies within you, by just connecting with your inner self that is much higher than your physical self. You can!! Period.
Neediness, hinders your ability to be loving and giving, and makes you a perpetual taker. I am not saying that only unrequited lovers are needy. We’re all needy at some time or the other, but constant neediness makes it virtually impossible to form a healthy relationship and can make you unattractive to the other person, even if they could potentially return your love! Now you don’t want to be rejected just because you are weak and are constantly looking to be loved. Now I am going to say what nobody wants to know, or believe, and this may come as a big surprise- you really don’t need your needs! I know some of you are laughing at me now. But trust me, it’s true! So let go of your perceived needs. Take help from my previous articles. Each one of them will inspire you to form a healthy relationship where both of you are totally in love with each other.
I believe in your ability to find the right love for your life. Sending you light for a happy relationship. Please don’t forget to share your experiences with me!