Unrequited Love and Self-Realisation.

Unrequited love is difficult to sort out, and confusing. I know. But trust me, you are not the only one who is going through unrequited love. Perhaps, there are more people in unrequited love in this world than in a complete, reciprocal relationship. While it is certainly going to take time, breaking the recovery process down into small, manageable parts will enable you to look at all of the pieces and find out exactly why you are suffering.

Sometimes, memories of the time spent with your beloved, the experiences and effects keep returning to the unrequited lover unnervingly and occupy a large part of their mind space. If there is nothing that you find to connect with your beloved, for example in a movie, a situation or a song, you immediately make-up something in your mind to connect your fantasy to real-life romantic fiction. Just randomly cutting cords of love and association with your beloved may cause more harm than good. When you are ready to move on from unrequited love, a conscious awareness and respect for the process of cutting cords is required to become spiritually free of the damage that this unreturned love has done to you. Remember, for any healing process to be successful, it is important to have faith in it. Releasing cords in a relationship is also a three-step procedure which I have discussed in my previous articles.

Interestingly, rejecters and unrequited lovers seem to look back very differently on their experiences of unrequited love. While rejecters carry more negative feelings, surprisingly, the rejected tend to view the experience in a positive light. Rejecters may feel considerable guilt at having turned down a proposal to a romantic attachment and at causing the other person deep emotional pain. They also retain negative feelings of annoyance and anger at the persistence of lovers, much more than the lovers do themselves.

Just because you know that there is something like a soul companion, don’t start imagining that your beloved can become your soul companion. I have talked about this in detail in my articles before. Do not force friendships into being a soul companionship, otherwise it will only lead you to being heartbroken eventually. Know what you are doing with your present-day relationships. Don’t mess them up with incomplete or misunderstood information. Life’s a dance which can be enjoyed only with those who compliment your dance and love dancing with you. Bow out of soured relationships when the time is not right and welcome new dance partners as they join in.

I have always said in my articles that finding love in someone who doesn’t want to reciprocate the feeling is looking beyond the universe, because you are the universe; everything is within you. The best relationship is your relationship with yourself. Self-regulation of an unrequited lover helps solve the primary purpose of enabling them to restrain themselves so as to gain social acceptance. Moving on in life requires both effort and sacrifice, but these are normally compensated by the benefits of belonging to your social group like you did before this entire episode. That is the essential social contract.

When we are able to give our love freely, when just to love someone feels like appreciation of self, without any strings attached; that is the state of loving detachment. It is very important for unrequited lovers to understand this form of love, because if you are able to love with detachment, the one-way love will not have as much negative impact on you. If you are able to love the unavailable object like we love the beauty of the setting sun, knowing that this beauty belongs to nature and we can only watch it, and let it have the calming effect on you, without expecting anything else, then unrequited love does not encumber you. It does not pull energy from you. It simply Loves.

The best experiences in life manifest with the highest levels of self-love and self-esteem. Because you are the Universe, you are the world, just start right here within your heart. You may read about this in detail in my article Relationships and Spirituality. While you are in the process of removing cords in unrequited love, remember that the mind has to be cleared of all past conditioning in order to let true spiritual transformation occur.

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