Unrequited Love and Reconnection
If the other person is not in love with you anymore, or never was, you are actually wasting your time in trying to sort things out. In this situation, you need to accept the fact and move on. You don’t want to be an unrequited lover and hang on for no reason!
It is true that some unrequited lovers are quite satisfactorily alone! When I talked to some of them, I found that their content lay in selfless giving. One of them even told me that he grew up loving one girl, but with time he understood that she is never going to love him back. Even after having understood this, his heart did not desire another love, because his eyes could not see anyone else worth loving. He continues to love her even today. It brings him joy to see her happy.
Neediness hinders your ability to be loving and giving, and makes you a perpetual taker. I am not saying that only unrequited lovers are needy. We’re all needy at some time or the other, but constant neediness makes it virtually impossible to form a healthy relationship and can make you unattractive to the other person, even if they could potentially return your love! This may come as a big surprise, but, you really don’t need your needs! I know some of you are laughing at me now. But trust me, it’s true! So let go of your perceived needs. Take help from my previous articles. If you have been following my previous articles, by now you should have a good understanding of the fundamentals of unrequited love and associated psychology and you would know that each one of my articles will inspire you to form a healthy relationship where both of you are totally in love with each other. It might be wise to re-read those articles, or bookmark them to grab back whenever you encounter a subject that I have written about!
Now you don’t want to be rejected just because you are weak and are constantly looking to be loved. Now I am going to say what nobody wants to know, or believe, and this may come as a big surprise- you really don’t need your needs! If you are a ‘victim’ of unrequited love, you have will often find yourself saying things like “I don’t understand why they don’t feel the same way” or “why can’t they see that we were meant to be together.” The truth is, romantic interests cannot be forced. As discussed in my article Unrequited Love – The Disinterested Lover, trying to understand why a person cannot reciprocate your feelings may make it easier for you to accept the situation and help you avoid making the same mistake again. The truth is, romantic interests cannot be forced.
You are not doing yourself any favors by continually re-opening wounds or revisiting painful feelings. When an unrequited lover madly pursues his beloved, he is actually giving the object of love the power to control him. As I have mentioned in my article Separation and Unrequited Love, when you start making a connection with yourself, you realise that there is much more to you than this relationship that is holding you back from discovering the actual you. The deeper you connect with yourself, the clearer you will be able to see what you want. Separation may seem truly painful at times and not so painful at other times. It is because of the constant fight between intensities and beliefs of the visible you and the actual you.
The best relationship that you can have is your relationship with yourself. If you must imagine a future, imagine a future without the object of your one-way love. Get your focus back on what is really important to you because they bring you joy here and now. Reconnect with your passions, values, and beliefs and ignite your dreams and goals. Your life has probably been on hold for a while now, you have likely become stagnant and lost sight of those things that provided inspiration and motivation. In fact, in all honesty, you have probably lost sight of yourself, of who you are, because you have only been consumed with someone else.
You may think and believe that your life is meaningless without the object of your desire, but you must let go of that belief and take control of your thoughts.