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Unrequited Love Affects Your Perception

Unrequited Love Affects Your Perception.

Scholars explain that an average couple takes two years to come down off the high of new love and reach to a point where one of them starts feeling like his love is unreturned. Now, the funny thing is, although the reality may be disappointing, we have to be thankful to have come down off the high, because if we didn’t, we’d have to close down business, church, education or anything else that’s important, because you can’t concentrate on anything else when you’re in love! However, in unattainable, the state of constant longing and desire is perpetual, and may become frustrating, if not worked upon.

When in unrequited love, we start dreaming about and expecting to go through the same conflicting emotions that we watch in movies and hope that our lives will become as transcendental as in the cinema. This is sometimes referred to as the “Hollywood factor” in that you have created the perfect person of your dreams and believe that you are saving all your love for this fantasy. However, since this ‘perfect person’ does not exist, you project this ideal onto the object of your affection and see them as who you want them to be. In this way, an unrequited love object is safer and easier because getting to know someone for who they really are may shatter your fantasy and destroy your dreams.

Every individual seeks a companion to embrace life together in a relationship. When a couple has reached the highest ideal of these deep relationships, they are often labelled as soulmates in our culture. All unattainable love cases begin with the lover looking for a soulmate when they are actually pursuing a one-way love relationship and in doing so, they forget to notice some points that are important in forming or finding a soulmate relationship. What is required to balance the actual relationship is the understanding that instead of holding on to the ideal, both individuals might need to shift the relationship into something else. Do not push the relationship too hard.

Some may hold that unrequited love is nothing but a physical response to another whom the agent feels physically attracted. However, in general, unrequited love has been seen to encompass a broad range of behavior including caring, listening, attending to, preferring to others, and so on. So, basically, physical determinists reduce all examinations of love to the simple sexual instinct that is shared with all complex living entities, the physical motivation of the sexual impulse, which may, in humans, be directed consciously, sub-consciously or pre-rationally toward a potential mate or object of sexual gratification.

From a quantum creating perspective, the more we allow ourselves to fall under the spell of unrequited love, the more we vibrate with unfulfilled longing, and the more the universe will mirror that and send us more of the same. As discussed in my blog More About Relationships and Karma, the Universe is a reflection of you. Whatever you are as an individual, so is the universe that you create around you. The neighbours, friends, family, home, city and environment you live in, everything in your life is literally a reflection of you. If you feel that your life is a mess, or that the person you love doesn’t love you back and this is making everything in your life negative, incomplete and unwanted, then you need to do some deep soul searching.

There are times when unrequited love can really affect your perception of the world and yourself and thus your self-esteem and your entire life experience. Does the idea of being loved make you uncontrollably happy? So happy that simple friendly behaviour makes you look for signs of love? If yes, you really need to work on improving your self-esteem. How important you are as a person is not, in any way, dependent on being loved by someone of the opposite gender. While it might look like all the stars are loved by a million fans, it is only half of the truth. The other half is that all fans are unrequited lovers, just like you!

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