Understanding Signs in Unrequited Love.
When you’re in love, it’s normal to want to make every effort to make your loved one feel loved. You open up your heart to feeling vulnerable, and you’re eager to be totally open to another person. You find yourself becoming more accessible to your beloved, and you’re willing to drop all that you’re doing to be at that individual’s side. Then one day, you start realising you’re the only one doing all the loving. The other person is only present. But when you are in unrequited love, it is easy to overlook that your favors are adding up quite quickly while the other person’s have been stagnant for a long time.
When you are confused about your status in a romantic relationship, the important issue that emerges is, “Does he love me too?” And at times this issue can become difficult to handle.
Look out for these signs while you are around your beloved, to see if he/she loves you or is ever going to love you.
- Favors Are Never Returned
An indication of an unrequited love story is when your beloved never wavers to solicit favors from you that obliges you to give up your time and commitment, yet when it’s an ideal opportunity to return the favor, he or she never appears to have time or ability. The individual appears to be too occupied with other, more important tasks at hand, and does not see it important to put them aside and be available for you.
You might even be told that your expectations are unrealistic and it is unfair on your part to expect the other person to be available for you at your convenience. Remember, if the other person loves you, there cannot be anything more important than being by your side when you need them.
- Communication Starts from You
You send the messages, you make the telephone calls and you push to see each other consistently. On the off chance that you don’t, a few days could pass by without even sharing a word. In case you’re the one doing the greater part of the arrangements to get to know one another and make a special effort to demonstrate the other individual how much he or she matters to you, odds are you’re in unrequited love. The moment you realise this, get out of it. Staying in love when you know it is not being reciprocated is a mistake. It leaves you feeling like your emotional needs aren’t being fulfilled because you’re the only one putting in all the effort.
- You Apologise When It Is Not Required
When you’re in unrequited love, your beloved is most likely an expert at blame game and will often make you feel awful for things you have no reason to stress over, such as getting passionate, or expecting to discuss something that has been on your mind. Yes, love is intended to bring joy into each other’s lives, yet that doesn’t mean your partner isn’t in charge of consoling you when you feel down. Part of being in love is being there for the other individual when life isn’t cheerful. You ought to never apologize when expecting your loved one to support you.
As mentioned in my blog “Effects of Limerence” unrequited love increases if forced to be controlled. In acute cases, it reaches to a point of no return; only deterrent being clear expression of disinterest or rejection from the LO. If there is even an iota of doubt about the LO’s feelings, love intensifies. There doesn’t necessarily have to be a “romantic” trigger for this response to happen. Limerence becomes more intrusive with time. The thoughts involved are mostly joyous and endlessly occupying. They revolve around the LO’s beauty, laughter, dressing and anything else that attracts the lover towards them. However, when a memory of rejection in any form lingers in the mind, it leaves them sad and this leads intensifies limerence.
- Friends Are More Important
When your loved one wants to go out, he or she doesn’t welcome you to tag along. You are not invited to a night-out with friends either. When you offer to take them out with your friends, that is rejected too. They only want to spend time with their own friends while you sit at home pondering over your status in their life. And if you happen to be friends and share the same group, you become just another person in the group, with no difference between you and another person of the same gender. Know at this time that your beloved either does not realise that you are in love or does not want to reciprocate your feelings.
Hope this helps all unrequited lovers to understand their situation better. Please share your experiences in the comments section and I will add them to my future blogs.