Love to Unrequited Love.
Initially, your beloved makes you feel on top of the world, cherished, desired, important. As though a divine script were being written, events seem to unfold magically, piercing through the walls of your lonely heart. It is obviously a powerful boost to your ego to have someone fall in love with you. Unsolicited love is presumably the greatest compliment. Some blissful high envelopes you. Yet, unfortunately, it doesn’t last. At some point, something happens, you wonder why you begin to feel a little drained where you once felt excitement and passion. As I have written in my post Why Unrequited Love, at the point when your feelings in a relationship are not shared, the outcome can be excruciating for both of you, particularly for the person who is more dedicated to the relationship. Unrequited love — the most common topic for novels and movies, is one of the worst situations to be in. Simply knowing that your relationship falls under this category is all that is needed to make you take some difficult decisions in life. Mostly, it is the decision to stay in the relationship that is important only to the unrequited lover, but at times, it is the decision to walk out.
With time your partner reveals a dark side. You start feeling emotionally manipulated. You start wondering if your partner is deliberately manipulating you, or does it just seem like it. It is hard to believe. You start to feel that events are getting out of your control and lead to emotionally crashing lows. You seem incapable of holding your partner’s full attention and their presence seem to be out of your reach. Life becomes an endless chase of unconsummated love.
Certainly there is ample evidence that people who do not gather themselves after rejection end up being excluded by others. Their friends eventually dump them, their employers fire them, and in serious cases society expels them because low self-control may be lead to some kind of criminality. Conversely, it has also been found that acceptance of friends and family helps unrequited lovers in handling the situation.
As I have written in my post Benefits of Unrequited Love, the ‘bad phase’ of your life also gives your friends and family a chance to show you how much they care. While they’re trying everything to get you out of the mess, your relationships with each of them are growing stronger. If neglected by friends and family, a rejected individual loses the willingness to make the efforts and sacrifices to change their behaviour according to the prescriptions of others.
Spending day after day alone, in doubt and despair is not going to do you any good. Find reasons to be happy. Start a gratitude journal. Smell the rain. Read a good book. Know this is your choice and you are happy with it! Love is one of the greatest teachers and mysteries of life, but we become almost obsessed with cracking the code of love when the object of our love doesn’t love us back. Lovers start believing that there is something that is missing in them, which, if changed, can cause the beloved to fall in love with them. They start finding ways to carve out of the marble of their being, someone that the beloved will find irresistible. The more you change yourself, the more you will turn into a shadow of your own.
If you feel desperate and disappointed in a relationship or in one-way love, remember, the energy is within you. It’s your thoughts, feelings and beliefs. What you put out you get back. What you are creating in unrequited love is more desperation and disappointment. Try imagining a person is so deeply committed to you and who loves you so much and he cannot imagine being with anyone else ever! And then take a look at the beliefs you hold about people and relationships. Your beliefs are energy you are exuding 24/7. It envelopes you. Turn the energy around following the chart of conscious creation and create the relationship of your dreams. It will take some time, dear In Love, but I know you can do this.
Keep me posted. I believe in your ability to use the law of attraction for love! Sending light to you for a beautiful relationship.