Lighten Up in Unrequited Love.
Treating your partner or beloved like a project that you need to work on, like something to ‘improve’, is disrespectful and can make the person feel like you don’t appreciate them for who they are or even know them at all. Not like all unrequited lovers try to change their partners, but people in a relationship, trying to get someone to wear more trendy clothes, go out for work, act how you think they should, begs the question- what did you see in this person to begin with? Remember the story of the villagers and the eagle.
There are times when unrequited love can really affect your perception of the world and yourself and thus your self-esteem and your entire life experience. Does the idea of being loved make you uncontrollably happy? So happy that simple friendly behaviour makes you look for signs of love? If yes, you really need to work on improving your self-esteem. How important you are as a person is not, in any way, dependent on being loved by someone of the opposite gender. While it might look like all the stars are loved by a million fans, it is only half of the truth. The other half is that all fans are unrequited lovers, just like you!
Dating someone new should be fun, exciting, and enjoyable. If you can monitor and influence your own behaviour during this ‘getting to know’ phase, you have more hope of getting to know whether you and they really will work together without needing to blame anyone if it doesn’t work out. Surely, nobody marries with a plan to separate or divorce. Nobody marries expecting to live with hope deferred. This is why we often find ourselves in unrequited love or sinking relationships, with no understanding of how we reached there. It usually starts with a nice romantic relationship, gradually losing the sheen and turning to something you never wanted it to be. As I have discussed in my blog Hopeless Unrequited Love, by the time you realise something is wrong, it gets so bad, you find it difficult to handle it right and you cannot afford to lose it either, because you are hopelessly in love. There certainly must be some warning signs? What do we miss that could’ve warned us?
As discussed in my blog Guiding Out, it is important to steer away from the object of your love, once you have realised that your love is never going to be reciprocated. Have faith that the intuition is strong enough to giving you deliverance. It talks to you through your gut feelings, heart feelings, and head feelings. This is the seventh sense that bounces you on the head and says “get the hell away from this person”, but unfortunately, it is equally true that most people in love are oblivious to this voice of their inner self. Unrequited one way love comes in different degrees, of course, from the temporary infatuation to the deeply felt, all-consuming one way love-me-or-I’ll-die unbridled passion or love obsession. One way unrequited love is just like falling in love, really, except it’s not reciprocated. And as you may well be aware, falling in love can pretty much make you a peculiar brand of crazy! Rapid as no other fixation would ever be, your ability to continue goes crazy.
Lighten up. Remember that you’re not alone. I understand, unrequited love is just no fun and all that stuff about personal development and self-growth probably sounds like so much baloney. But hey, if that’s you, and you’re still reading this, well, maybe you’re about ready to move on – if only someone can tell you what you need to do that.
This article is a part of a larger article about the signs and psychology of unrequited love. You can read more about this in my future blogs. I will follow up with a new article about signs and symptoms of unrequited love. If you have been following my previous articles, by now you should have a good understanding of the fundamentals of unrequited love and associated psychology. It might be wise to re-read those articles, or bookmark them to grab back whenever you encounter a subject that I have written about!
Got something to share? Please write your experiences in the comments section and i will add them to my future blogs.