Happens, In Unrequited Love.
When love is reciprocated, it weaves stories of desire, sexual attraction and bliss. But what happens when it’s not? No matter what we may do, some people may not want us in the way we want them: as a date, a boyfriend, a partner, a wife. What do we do when the person we want doesn’t want us back?
As romantic as it may sound to love someone with your heart and soul, even if they don’t love you back, it is not easy. It is really painful to long for someone who does not feel the same way about you. While there is not much we can do about how the other person feels, there certainly are a few things we can do to save ourselves the unbearable pain. See my post Ways to Handle Unrequited Love, where I have written in detail about the subject. However, the most important thing to do is to know that you have been hurt and to take care of yourself, no matter what.
As a kid, all of us have had moments when another kid did not want to play with us. That was perhaps the first rejection of our lives. At times, we may not get invited to a classmate’s party and the person that we have a crush on may not like us back. In fact, the crush may even be involved with another person, right before our eyes. Happens, with all of us, doesn’t it? This difficult lesson continues to be taught to us by life, as we grow up, over and over. The list of incidents is long, but the lesson to be learnt is the same: love yourself, because everyone else is taken. Life goes on, it doesn’t stop. And if you don’t carry on, you will be left back; life will move on.
We can’t control what other people decide to do with their lives. It is useless to even try. Not only can we not control it but sometimes the kindest, most compassionate response is to acknowledge that whatever the other person chose is perhaps best for them at the moment. When someone rejects your love, maybe they are not trying to be cruel. Perhaps they know themselves quite well and they’ve decided that they can’t look into your eyes, take your phone calls, or come home to you anymore or at all. Some feelings are never reciprocated and we are forced to be okay with it, especially if it’s what helps the other person to move on with their life!
The essence of a spiritual soul is timeless. The physical body is simply the vehicle for the expression of your spirit. It is the physical body that falls in love with the wrong person and gets hurt when the feeling is not reciprocated. However, the conscious mind cannot remember everything that has ever happened throughout time, because the conscious mind is finite. It is the soul that carries these experiences to our future. The pleasure of lovemaking, the pain of betrayal; these form a Karmic connection between two individuals and this connection remains with us, until we work towards becoming Karma clear. You may read about this in detail in my post Unrequited Love and Karma. The continuity of spiritual life is timeless. While everyone has a different belief about reincarnation, it is also a common belief that the soul chooses to re-embody into a physical dimension for further expression. According to Hindu mythology, unless one soul has become completely clear of the past Karma, it will keep re-embodying itself to achieve Moksha. In every new situation it will attract the relevant cause and effect pattern that it has set up in the past. This is an ongoing part of our soul development.
One of the most difficult things about unrequited love is to come to terms with the fact that your love is never going to find its destination in your beloved. The most important point to understand here is that this does not mean there is something wrong with you. Think about a star or a celebrity who you know was in love with someone who never loved them back. They are intelligent, rich, smart and all that you think is required for someone to fall in love with you. But they were not loved back. Why? Because it was just not meant to be for them, just like this was not for you.
Let go and move on; this time just a bit smarter and stronger.