From Breakup to Unrequited Love.
Did you know that rejection is number one fear among human beings? Most of our failures are nothing more than a form of rejection. One of the deepest needs of humans is the need to belong and to be accepted. When you are rejected in one way or another, you fail to satisfy this important need. Knowing how to deal with rejection will help you lessen pain and bounce back to your normal emotional state.
If someone wants to walk out of your life, let them! Let all the grandstanding scenarios disappear from your life. You shouldn’t have to babysit the neurons inside someone’s head lest they get caught up in wacky world of breaking up with you. After a break-up, most of us get into the espionage mode or creative ways to convince our ex of something they don’t really want to be convinced of. Keep in mind that even if you are able to get them back, this battle of winning their mind is a temporary state. It is just a matter of time before they find another reason to leave you.
You don’t need someone who isn’t smart enough to see how valuable you are. Let them go, so there is place for someone more deserving. You should not be the one doing something all the time to save the relationship. This time, don’t do anything. Yes, I mean it. Save your dignity and your sanity and do nothing. It is going to be hard to do that – nothing. But just take my advice this one time and do nothing.
You are going to feel guilty about not doing your best for the situation and not doing anything about it, because that is exactly what you are doing – nothing. It’s hard to let it go. Hard but do-able. It’s hard to do nothing, but that is the best thing to be doing. Let it slowly sink in and try to do the hardest thing there is to do: Nothing. You will think you spend all your time not doing something, because that is exactly what you’re doing.
Animals generally learn about their world with the use of their five senses. Humans learn about the world from each other. Social connection is the blood and breath of human life, and rejection strikes at its very core. Hence, it was found that if humans can restrain their selfish impulses so as to follow rules and cooperate, even after being rejected in unrequited love, they can gain the immense rewards of belonging and lead a normal life. Self-regulation in unattainable love helps solve the primary purpose of enabling them to restrain themselves, to gain social acceptance. Moving on in life requires both effort and sacrifice, but these are normally compensated by the benefits of belonging to your social group like you did before this entire episode. That is the essential social contract. It’s time to let it go completely and do something new. It’s time to think about it differently. It’s time to renew, reverse and reject the rejecter.
When we let go the idea of changing things, the feelings start to surface. Accept the fact that the breakup has happened. It’s happened. You’ve been rejected. Accept it for what it is. Many times, we try to change the situation to stave off the feelings of sadness, anger, betrayal and rejection. You might feel like a loser and start to drift back to the idea of doing something. In addition to the normal feelings of grief, rejection brings with it negative self-talk and lowered self-esteem and self-respect. This time, instead of trying to do something to them, you’ll do something to you. Your mind races with ideas.
I am going to discuss in my next post what these ideas are; how self-destructive they can be and how to stop yourself from thinking about them. But until then, every night before you go to sleep, ask your soul and your conscious mind to help you manifest the relationship that you dream of. Request them to gently show you the way to change yourself and help you heal.
Keep me posted. I believe in your ability to use the law of attraction for love! Sending light to you for a beautiful relationship.