Facts About Unattainable Love.

Did you truly love? Or were you addicted to the pain? The exquisite pain of wanting someone so unattainable – the cause of unattainable love.

There are many of us who don’t want normal and easy and simple. They want painful, difficult, devastating, life-changing, extraordinary love. Do you want that too? Ask yourself and you shall know.

As previously mentioned, most of us have experienced unrequited love to some degree, but sometimes it can become a pattern that indicates a much bigger or more basic issue. Ask yourself- “why am I always attracted to unattainable love?”, “why do I find myself a ‘victim’ of one way love over and over?”, “what is stopping me from engaging in a balanced, healthy, reciprocal relationship?” If you have asked these questions, or others like these to yourself, then maybe it is time for some self-exploration so you can change your perception and actions. Healthier possibilities are waiting for you just around the corner.

The fact of the matter is that love isn’t supposed to hurt. It’s only in the wanting of someone who doesn’t reciprocate our affections that pain creeps in. It has been proven that a broken heart is not just a metaphor. When a person is emotionally hurt, it is the same as a physical wound. It needs to be taken care of and it needs to heal as well. Unfortunately, we are not as well informed about taking care of the emotional wounds as we are about the physical wounds. We know, deep down, we’ll never truly capture this particular heart. But we don’t hesitate to yet step into it, hoping against hope they’ll match our love eventually. Why do we try so hard when all signs point to disappointment?

It’s important that you take care of yourself when you feel lonely following rejection or breakup, because this is the time when you are vulnerable and can easily become a victim of unattainable love. History will repeat itself if you do not learn from it and change. Until now, you have mostly kept the other person as the center of your life. Change that. Make yourself the most important person of your life. Using drugs and alcohol to cope or turn to emotional eating for comfort is not what you want to do! Be sensible and use this as a learning to make yourself a better person.

Some people chase unattainable love because, deep down, they don’t feel worthy of the real deal. You’ll see them with a married person, hoping they will leave their spouse. Or you’ll see them in a series of one-night stands where they try to leverage sex into love, or spend weeks interpreting a voice mail message the other person left with the analytic fervor of an international code breaker.

Dating is more complex than ever, and some people simply chase the serial dating game, or settle for the person who will never commit—because they don’t want to do the hard work of really figuring out what they want, what they offer, and how to get it, given those parameters. Chasing unattainable love is also a distraction from the challenge that finding true love takes People chasing unattainable love have usually never even figured out what their deal breakers are.

Break free from a painful chase. It will require you to alter your consciousness. Change perspective, look at things differently. Decide what you really want and be brutally honest with yourself. You can lie to others, but if you find you’re lying to yourself, you’re in trouble.

Ask yourself the relationship-defining questions. “Do you want a guy who makes more or less money than you? Do you want kids? Do you want an urban life or a nomadic marriage—or do you simply want to live together?” Dig deep and articulate what you want. This will lead you to a better understanding of yourself and help you form better relationships in the future.

Once you know what and who you want, you have to stick to it. The discipline comes in when you meet a dreamy looking guy who is all wrong for your goals. You have to move on quickly, so you don’t get caught up chasing the unattainable love yet again in life.