Effects of Unattainable Love.
Being in unattainable love causes the production of stress hormone and leads to the effect fear in the brain. Being unsure about the feelings of the beloved, constant fear of rejection, uncontrollable sexual desires, and the entire mysterious situation sends the amygdala into a hyperactive mode. Most of this energy is spent on following the beloved and in finding ways to constantly think about them, because they cannot be brought in real life. A broken heart leads the person in unattainable love to a “withdrawal from addiction” sort of psychological state. It takes the ‘high’ away from their life.
Cortisol readies our body for a “fight or flight” reaction, along with other adrenal hormones like adrenaline and norepinephrine. Stress hormones are produced in times of risk and danger. They are involuntarily produced and discharged in our system, irrespective of the danger being real or perceived. One example of this is fear of public speaking. A person in unattainable love is afraid to speak in public and hence faces more rejection and loneliness.
If you are in unattainable love, you might even be told that your expectations are unrealistic and it is unfair on your part to expect the other person to be available for you. In most cases, this is true. Remember, if the other person loves you, there cannot be anything more important than being by your side when you need them. But to expect this in unattainable love is stretching it a little too far.
I wouldn’t say I don’t understand that love can be compelling, but how we share and express love is totally a matter of choice. Both the partners are and should be free to choose when it comes to relationships. This is true even with soulmate relationships. The reason why you feel so comfortable and at ease with each other in a soulmate relationship is because a soulmate is a part of the same soul group or soul family – you are literally kindred souls. However, being soulmates also does not guarantee an intimate relationship or even a pleasant relationship. Sometimes, you find a soulmate in unattainable love. It is therefore important to know when to hold back your feelings and move on to find a more fulfilling association than unattainable love. Remember, love is never lost; it just changes with realisation.
With reference to unattainable love, sex remains a dissatisfying and loveless encounter, sadly devoid of true love, intimacy and pleasure and often motivated by lust or loneliness. Ayurveda helps us put sex in perspective through the ancient Indian scriptures. Emphasising our faculty of discrimination concerning quality and quantity, it advises judicious indulgence in sex. More profound implications than just physical pleasure have been portrayed in a sexual union experience. It opens up our heart to love ourselves and all beings with increased passion and instructs us about making sexual union a sacred consciousness expanding experience. It also teaches that sex is a spiritual connection that will satiate all our desires. It is ultimately a yearning for an unconditional loving relationship between ourselves and the divine, which, unfortunately cannot be achieved in unattainable love.
Love is conceptually irrational, in the sense that it cannot be described in rational or meaningful propositions. However, the philosophical discussion regarding unattainable love logically begins with questions concerning its nature. This implies that love has a nature, a proposition that some may oppose. Critics present a metaphysical and epistemological argument of love, where it is an ejection of emotions that defy rational examination; on the other hand, some do not even admit the concept, which negates the possibility of a philosophical examination.
My advice to all of you in unattainable love is to anticipate the end of euphoric feelings. It doesn’t mean that you’ll lose all emotional feeling for your beloved, but you’ll need to work toward a deeper sense of self. Realize that it’s inevitably going to happen. Society’s message that happiness trumps everything else trips up many youngsters who come to realize they won’t necessarily feel happy forever. We see countless people in love with a celebrity or a star, without understanding that love is more of a choice than a feeling. It’s a choice to look out for the interest of the other person, as much as your own. It’s the choice to be willing to sacrifice for a bigger benefit; to recognize that while there is an emotional aspect of love, love is basically a promise to find fulfilment, no matter what!
Please share your experiences in the message section. They are my inspiration.