Coming to Terms with Unrequited Love.
If only the strength of the love that people feel when it is reciprocated could be as intense and obsessive as the love we feel when it is not, then relationships in this day and age would be like Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet’s. One of the most difficult things about unrequited love is to come to terms with the fact that your love is never going to find its destination in your beloved. The most important point to understand here is that this does not mean there is something wrong with you. Think about a star or a celebrity who you know was in love with someone who never loved them back. They are intelligent, rich, smart and all that you think is required for someone to fall in love with you. But they were not loved back. Why? Because it was just not meant to be for them, just like this was not for you.
It is not easy to be a best friend to the person you love. It causes tremendous amount of pain not to be able to fulfil you desire for a soulmate partnership with your beloved on an intimate level. It is normal for unrequited lovers to be confused about their best friend’s feelings and keep expecting their feelings to be reciprocated. You cannot override another person’s boundaries, so you have the choice of whether to continue to love them as a friend, or to let go of the friendship altogether. This raises the important question that I am discussing here- should you be (just) friends with someone you’re madly in love with?
Unrequited love turns bitter and mean, and sometimes those who come after, pay the price for the hurt done by the one who came before. When you love someone and get hurt, the pain remains; buried deep down. It’s a scar you carry in your heart. Feelings are a powerful yet strange emotion. They can play tricks and destroy you, or sustain you. Either way, feelings are an influential and dominant emotion. It takes days, weeks, months, or years to recover and encounter this emotional love pain. There is more to us than the five senses can perceive. Forces that we do not stop and feel or think about in our day-to-day lives. There is Psychopathy of the genes, of the spirit and that we are not all the same inside. Not every one of us can activate the higher forces. These are intricate subjects that need cautious study and thought.
You cannot control the feelings of another and you most certainly cannot make or force someone to love you. It is the ‘mate’ part of soulmate where people often fall short. If you try to forcefully form a soulmate relationship with someone, you confuse yourself and the other person by adding sex to the equation. Things eventually fall apart. The simple truth is that a soulmate relationship is formed naturally and it takes time to build because it is based on trust and complete dedication to each other. The emotional availability of our beloved is absolutely fundamental to whether this love is going to cause pain or bring happiness to us.
Metaphysically speaking, a relationship is a combination of bonds. When you make love, a spiritual bond is formed, which intimately binds the chakras of two individuals. People who are promiscuous are mostly unable to balance their relationships because the chakra cords are being broken constantly. If you have found someone outside of your marriage or relationship that your heart feels an inexplicable connection with, you’ve probably found a Karma clear soul and are most likely going to be unable to stop an intimate bond from being formed. Once this happens, it will be very difficult for you to retain a spiritual balance in your current relationship.
The scar will eventually heal once you find someone of same or better quality than the person that rooted your scar. Or, you will be scarred forever and the next relationship of your life will bear the brunt of it. It depends on what you let the emotions do to you.
Give yourself a closure. It is very important to officially end your friendship. This will help you process your emotions. If you wrote the individual a good-bye letter or wrote in your journal about the ending of your friendship, bring it out, gather old pictures and mementos you may want to get rid of and then place them in a box. When you feel mostly at peace, say good-bye and let it go as you shred or burn the contents of the box.