Being Sensible in Unrequited Love.
People go to counsellors and pay high fees to find out how to get someone to love them. They claim to love this person more than they love themselves and for them, this concept is the identity of romantic love. In all honesty, your relationship with yourself is more important than anything else. If another relationship outside of yourself becomes more important to you, you become an unstable vehicle to carry love. Any sensible person would want to get into a relationship with someone who is high on confidence and loves himself.
We keep hearing someone or the other whine about an unrequited lover stalking them, sending letters and texts all the time. Make peace with yourself, don’t follow someone who doesn’t want you in their life. One day they’ll come back. Let them come, let it be casual. You tend to hold on to Karma within your heart by the effort you make, the obsession you create, the anxiety, the worry you manifest. The only way you can come out of this anchor of Karma that you have created is through meditation, self-love and prayer. That’s the way it works.
Despite the fact that unrequited love is connected with tension and anxiety, this state, mixed with hope of reciprocity leads the unrequited lover to feel extreme happiness to the level of euphoria. This reaction is similar to the effect of cocaine. Like cocaine, love increases the levels of serotonin, norepinephrine, and dopamine in the body. Because dopamine is associated with pleasure and causes the brain to think about pleasurable moments, narcotic drugs like cocaine increase the brain’s levels of dopamine and cause addiction. This scientifically explains why unrequited lovers are addicted to the object of love.
If you are looking to fall in love and being loved back, you need to get involved with people who are Karma clear. Look for those people around you. They will be the ones who are selflessly offering their love to you. Karma clear does not mean someone that is without Karma. It means someone who has come out clear of past relationships and is ready to process new ones. Most of us don’t know how to deal with our Karma.
We have no idea about absolving or processing it. In my next blog I am going to write about finding a Karma clear person and understanding our own status in current or future relationships. You need to assess where you are right now. In unrequited love, mostly there is too much neediness (which can be a turn-off for your partner) or you feel that your partner is way too independent and doesn’t want to be with you. Rebalancing how you feel and relate is very important. Without it, both of you will always feel a disconnect. This is not a good way for two individuals to be together.
It is interesting how the world seldom stops to think about people getting brutalized by unrequited love or relationships in general, but it happens all the time. An important part of creating a stable vehicle for any relationship is to have a balanced relationship with yourself. Starting to see how you could make yourself better from the outside, plugging into that and moving yourself internally that way is the trick. You are unqualified to be in love, unless you know what it feels like. So, learn to love yourself first, but make sure it is in an unselfish way.
The most beneficial way for two people to connect with each other is to be genuinely interdependent. This is when two strong, independent individuals depend upon each other, yet sustain their individuality. They share a well-balanced relationship of togetherness and healthy dependence, without sacrificing or compromising on their own values. Unfortunately, this kind of relationships are rare to find, but, with some understanding and awareness, it is not impossible to achieve.
Love is one of the greatest teachers and mysteries of life, but we become almost obsessed with cracking the code of love when the object of our love doesn’t love us back. Lovers start believing that there is something that is missing in them, which, if changed, can cause the beloved to fall in love with them. they start finding ways to carve out of the marble of their being, someone that the beloved will find irresistible. The more you change yourself, the more you will turn into a shadow of your own.
Your comments are always welcome, so please share your views and I will include them in my future blogs.