More About Unrequited Love and Karma.
In my previous blog Unrequited Love and Karma, I have written how, in order to be sure of a karma clear person, you first need to look into yourself. Have faith that your intuition is strong enough to give you deliverance. It talks to you through your gut feeling. Never ignore your inner voice. It is what you truly are. The seventh sense bounces you on the head and says “get the hell away from this person”, but unfortunately, it is equally true that most people in love are oblivious to this voice of their inner self.
It is interesting how the world seldom stops to think about people getting brutalized by unrequited love or relationships in general, but it happens all the time. An important part of creating a stable vehicle for any relationship is to have a balanced relationship with yourself. Beginning to see how you could make yourself better from the outside, plugging into that and moving yourself internally that way is the trick. You are not qualified to be in love, unless you know what it feels like. So learn to love yourself first, but make sure it is in an unselfish way.
People go to counsellors and pay high fees to find out how to get someone to love them. They claim to love this person more than they love themselves and for them, this concept is the identity of romantic love. In all honesty, your relationship with yourself is more important than anything else. If another relationship outside of yourself becomes more important to you, you become an unstable vehicle to carry love. Any sensible person would want to get into a relationship with someone who is high on confidence and loves himself.
Also learn to let go. In my blog The Spiritual Gifts of Unrequited Love, I have written about Buddha’s lesson of letting go of attachment as the way to make people realise the difference between attachment and desire. Because humans are sensually oriented, anything that makes us feel better, becomes a habit. Tending these through introspection, meditation and constant mental training can help distinguish between desire and attachment. Relationships come and go, they don’t always work. More often, they never work. All things pass. Not just in unrequited or one-way love, but also when you’re happily married. People do die or people move on, things change. You have to be ready to let go and say to yourself logically “this doesn’t look like it’s going to work” and always come back to the relationship that you have with yourself.
Let go of the past relationships that you still have feelings for, those feelings that have been cursing you. It’s called unrequited love. These are unprocessed relationships; you’re still holding on to them while the other person may not even be connected to you anymore. You’ve been hurt, so there’s a Karma there, but the Karma is always with yourself. It’s not with the other person. The Karma centre lies within you. The only way to make peace with agony of the past is to make peace with yourself. Once you’ve managed to do that, you’re clear, it’s that simple!
We keep hearing someone or the other whine about an unrequited lover stalking them, sending unwanted letters and texts. Make peace with yourself, don’t follow someone who doesn’t want you in their life. One day they’ll come back. Let them come, let it be casual. You tend to hold on to Karma within your heart by the effort you make, the obsession you create, the anxiety, the worry you manifest. The only way you can come out of this anchor of Karma that you have created is through meditation, self-love and prayer. That’s the way it works.
Certain kind of processing is required to clear yourself of attachments and be happy in future relationships. Remove all that is physical. All the pictures that you have in your wallets and on the walls, gifts received – whatever reminds you of the relationship and makes you hold on to the past; dump it. Don’t let the person come back to your life physically. Not even to shake hands with you. Change your phone number, this may feel silly in the beginning, but until you’re clear of this internal Karma, do it.
In my next blog I am going to continue writing about getting over the internal Karma of unrequited love and relationships. Please share your experiences in the comments section and I will include them in my future blogs.