Ways to Handle Unrequited Love.
As romantic as it may sound to love someone with your heart and soul, knowing that it is never going to be reciprocated, the truth is: it hurts. It hurts so much that is becomes unbearable. When your heart is breaking inside with the feeling of rejection, or to see your beloved fall in love with someone else, the pain is almost physical. It is not that your heart is actually breaking inside your chest but it feels like it is crushed and bleeding. Every bit of your body aches with an inexplicable real pain.
It has been proven that a broken heart is not just a metaphor. When a person is emotionally hurt, it is the same as a physical wound. It needs to be taken care of and it needs to heal as well. Unfortunately, we are not as well informed about taking care of the emotional wounds as we are about the physical wounds. So here are some first-aid tips for a heart broken due to unrequited love.
Acknowledge
The first step is to know that you are hurt and you need to be taken care of. Take care of yourself just like you would if you were physically hurt, but in a different way. Don’t stress about the past or the future. Remember to live one day at a time. As long as ‘today’ is taken care of, ‘yesterday’ and ‘tomorrow’ will automatically fall into place. Pull yourself together, yes it is not going to be easy, do it still, and move on.
Analyse
Think about how it happened. Everything. How did you start falling for a person who you (probably) knew will not reciprocate your feeling? And if you did not know that you will be rejected, how did you misjudge the situation. What did you miss? See if you can find a pattern in your behaviour. Any kind of pattern – do you tend to fall in love with someone who doesn’t love you back? Do you like to be seen as a selfless lover, always giving and never demanding? Do you subconsciously set unachievable targets in matters of the heart?
In my blog on “Effects of Unrequited Love” I had talked about how, pitilessly, you’re barraged by the stark acknowledgment that a commitment for you isn’t generally a commitment for your beloved. That the remarkably sweet sentiments that have been so warmly holding you aren’t shared, aren’t common. Your blissful dreams of the dearest exist in a vacuum. In a word, you see yourself to be a moron.
In such moments you find that your enthusiasm, your simply envisioned bliss, has taken leave. That it’s now just a faint memory of what (perhaps only a second back) was so considerable, so unwaveringly genuine that it was binding each cell in your body. As concrete and gigantic as a mountain, its measurements had been enormous to the point that you could scarcely make out its peak.
Sometimes we ourselves are not aware of the complicated ways in which our brain functions. But if we sit in silence and think back, there is a lot we get to learn from our own behaviour and choices in the past.
Compare
Get over yourself for a while and look around. You will find that you are not the only one to have suffered from unrequited love. While it hurts to be rejected, it is not just painful but shameful too. You feel like you are not worth being loved, that there is something lacking in you. This starts to break your confidence and make things worse to handle. But if you look around, you will find at least 5 people you know personally who have been rejected in love or whose love has not been returned.
If you keep separating yourself from the rest of the world and keep repeating – why me, you will further damage yourself by indulging in unwanted and self-destructive habits. Refrain. 95% of the world has gone through this. You are not the only one.
Get Help
What are friends for? Find a friend you trust the most and talk about the situation. Happiness multiplies when shared and sorrows divide. This is an unfailing rule in life. Try it. After you have spoken with a friend who truly cares for you, you will feel more confident about yourself. You will see that there are people who don’t consider you ‘rejected’. It is just the truth. One person’s rejection does not decide your worth. There are many more who know your true worth.
Accept
One of the most difficult things about unrequited love is to come to terms with the fact that your love is never going to find its destination in your beloved. The most important point to understand here is that this does not mean there is something wrong with you. Think about a star or a celebrity who you know was in love with someone who never loved them back. They are intelligent, rich, smart and all that you think is required for someone to fall in love with you. But they were not loved back. Why? Because it was just not meant to be for them, just like this was not for you.
Let go and move on; this time just a bit smarter and stronger.
I hope my blog helps you in handling the pain of unrequited love better. Please leave your comments to share more experiences and i will add them in my future blogs!