Unrequited Love and Your Partner.
I have always said in my articles that finding love in someone who doesn’t want to reciprocate the feeling is looking beyond the universe, because you are the universe; everything is within you. The best relationship is your relationship with yourself. The best experiences in life manifest with the highest levels of self-love and self-esteem. The feeling of obsessive jealousy is extremely unpleasant, but you cannot do anything about it until you accept that you are jealous of people who are closer than you are to your object of desire! Accepting it requires a lot of courage, and mostly you are not even willing to do it. Hence, you continue to be jealous, making the situation worse, like driving your partner farther away. As discussed in my blog Therapeutic Unrequited Love, apart from jealousy, there are several other situations and feelings that we need to let go of. This requires delving into the unpleasantness of our emotions and learn our own secrets. Ask ourselves some questions and get some unpleasant answers.
Romantic love, as has been explained, is not an emotion. Rather, it’s a motivation system- a need that compels the lover to seek a specific mating partner, it’s a drive, it’s part of the reward system of the brain. The brain links this drive to all kinds of specific emotions depending on how the relationship is going. All the while, the prefrontal cortex is assembling data, putting information into patterns, making strategies, and monitoring the progress toward this great prize of life.
Love also hurts. In a recent study, researchers found that 40% of people who had been dumped by their partner in the previous eight weeks experienced clinical depression and 12% severe depression. It is estimated that annually one million women and 400,000 men are stalked 50 to 70% of female homicides are committed by lovers and spouses.
The ‘Let Go’ method is a therapeutic technique and a powerful path to personal development. Basically, it teaches some easy steps to forgiveness. It is a path of practical spirituality. It helps you in your self-improvement; in fact, it can be used as a personal development plan in itself! It does not have anything to do with organized religion. It is a state of mind which allows you to go home to happiness, silence, spaciousness, unconditional love and complete inner peace. You can use the method all by yourself at any time. As discussed in my blog Inner Peace in Unrequited Love, you can also have someone else like a coach, a trusted friend or a guide in consciousness help you; which makes it more powerful.
It is important to know that no method dealing with our consciousness works on someone who doesn’t have complete faith in it. A conscious awareness and respect for the process is required for any healing process to be successful. Learning how to adapt to the situation and working on it is helpful. Certain methods have been helpful in successfully completing the process of ‘letting go’, ensuring smooth exit from a situation or relationship and offering opportunity to heal the underlying issues. In many cases, you will grieve like someone who is experiencing the loss of a relationship and only time will heal the wounds and change your perspective. At first, you will have to make constant effort to refocus your energies by controlling your thoughts from wandering to that one person, but eventually this will become easier.
It is interesting to know that you cannot perpetually be in this state of being at peace with life after letting go of all the things that are not-so-good. As humans, we keep getting affected, and it is alright to do so. But once you have learnt the art of letting go, even if it fades away after some time, it never entirely goes away and whenever a difficult situation arises, you are reminded to let go of it and be at peace with yourself once again. And that is the art of living!
In other words, I wanted to find a way to come home to myself at will. I knew the key had something to do with letting go of bothersome matters and people and knowing that I am the world, I am complete and there is nothing beyond me. It took me a long time of intense experimentation, but I succeeded.
I hope this article helps. I am going to come back with more on this subject, so please keep looking out for my newer posts!