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Unattainable Love Possibilities

Unattainable Love Possibilities.

I have been writing extensively about ways to get over unrequited love and this series of articles, I am covering a specific kind of unrequited love – unattainable love. My unsolicited advice is to seek healthy relationships based on equality. Finding someone who is real, your equal, someone who likes you just the way you are, and who makes you feel happy and connected rather than miserable and frustrated. You may know this person already, though it doesn’t matter. All I want you to do is to just keep your heart open to the possibility of finding someone who can reciprocate your feelings and build a mutual relationship, instead of falling in unattainable love, which is falling in love with someone who can never be yours, no matter what. Open your mind to the possibility that you could be mistaken in assuming you can only have a relationship with a person who fits exactly what you have imagined. And remember that you need a relationship with a real-life person, not a phantasm of your own making.

A term called ‘frustration attraction’ indicates that getting dumped by your partner makes you love the person harder. Most of us have been dumped by someone we really love and an equal number also dumped someone who really loved them. ‘Abandonment rage’ and ‘frustration depression’ are two more terms that may paradoxically work to hasten the relationship’s end. This follows resignation and despair, which sink in when an unrequited lover’s brain’s reward system begins to realize that their love is quickly changing to unattainable love and is never going to be reciprocated. Human need to belong is much deeply rooted than any other social animal.

The continuity of spiritual life is timeless. While everyone has a different belief about reincarnation, it is also a common belief that the soul chooses to re-embody into a physical dimension for further expression. According to Hindu mythology, unless one soul has become completely clear of the past Karma, it will keep re-embodying itself to achieve Moksha. In the spiritual sense, the let go method, when successfully completed, leaves you at total peace with yourself. A state where you are able to love unconditionally; where there is inner silence, spaciousness, awareness, happiness and an experience of your true identity, your soul identity. You may read about this in detail here.

It is believed that romantic love developed to focus one’s mating energy on just one individual while attachment works to tolerate this individual long enough to raise children together. To have a better understanding of the types of relationships that will form a part of your life and how to work with relationship chemistry, will help you find your soulmate; someone who will match down to the depths of your soul. It has also been studied that romantic love, especially unattainable love, is a stronger craving than sex. People don’t kill themselves if they do not get sex when they want it, but it is not adaptive to be without the person you are in unattainable love with, and hence, a love deprived lover needs more attention in terms of getting over the situation, than, probably, a sex deprived husband/wife.

Scholars explain that an average couple takes two years to come down off the high of new love and reach to a point where one of them starts feeling like his love is unreturned. Now, the funny thing is, although the reality may be disappointing, we have to be thankful to have come down off the high, because if we didn’t, we’d have to close down business, church, education or anything else that’s important, because you can’t concentrate on anything else when you’re in love! However, in unattainable, the state of constant longing and desire is perpetual, and may become frustrating, if not worked upon.

A person needs to grow in life. Constant growth is the way to live. If a situation or a relationship is binding you so strongly that it is not letting you grow, even emotionally, it is time to move on! Use this experience as an opportunity for change and self-growth. It may hurt now, but nothing is a waste of time if you can use what you have learned, to create a better future! Like someone said- Let no one who loves be called unhappy. Even love unreturned has its rainbow.

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