Transformation in Unrequited Love.
The thoughts and beliefs you entertain affect your emotions, actions, and the decisions. But, only you can change the way you think and the way you view your experiences. Empowerment of self is based on free will, but unrequited love robs your freedom and makes you a ‘victim’ to someone else’s choices. In essence, it dis-empowers you! As previously mentioned, most of us have experienced unrequited love to some degree, but sometimes it can become a pattern that indicates a much bigger or more basic issue. Ask yourself- “why am I always attracted to ‘unavailable’ people?”, “why do I find myself a ‘victim’ of one way love over and over?”, “what is stopping me from engaging in a balanced, healthy, reciprocal relationship?” If you have asked these questions, or others like these to yourself, then maybe it is time for some self-exploration and eventually self-empowerment, so you can change your perception and actions. Healthier possibilities are waiting for you just around the corner.
By employing certain strategies or self-improvement, you will be able to choose how you respond to unrequited love and transform your negative feelings into positive experiences. Your friends tell you that you shouldn’t love someone who doesn’t return your feelings and that you should move on. But, the “plenty of fish in the sea” theory isn’t convincing because you believe that you have already found your ‘soulmate’ and you aren’t interested in pursuing other options. Yes, some people take longer than others to realize their true feelings. And yes, being able to hold on without receiving love in return is sometimes the key factor that keeps a relationship together during difficult times. But, love that remains unreciprocated can be excruciatingly painful. Learning to deal with it is vital to your personal development and your ability to live life to the fullest.
As discussed in my blog Distraction and Fantasies in Unrequited Love, unrequited lovers will experience periods of happiness, or even euphoria, at any indication of reciprocation. Even a neutral behavior such as a simple smile or casual greeting will be cause for elation. Unfortunately, they will quickly swing to the opposite extreme at any signs of disinterest or rejection. If the beloved neglects to acknowledge the lover’s greeting or respond to their presence, the lovers will fall into despair, even depressions or physical illness.
“The chase is always better than the catch”. This brings me to the next reason for some of us constantly finding ourselves in unrequited love – you’re caught up in the thrill of the chase.
Do you enjoy the excitement of pursuing something you cannot have? For some people, this is the incentive, and once they achieve their goal, they no longer want what they were pursuing. In this case, you will consistently be attracted to the prospect of unrequited love and lose interest when, or if, this love is ever returned. This is also a defence mechanism and may be an indication that you have a fear of commitment or intimacy.
Unrequited lovers need to focus on the fact that real life issues are more common, more real, and subsequently less cinematographic. A vampire is never going to come and save you, no matter how shy or silent you may be! Unrequited love, as great and altruistic as it may appear to be in a movie, is the worst thing to be in. It may sound romantic to love someone with your heart and soul, knowing that it is never going to be reciprocated, the truth is – it hurts. Unrequited love hurts so much that is becomes unbearable. When your heart is breaking inside with the feeling of rejection, or to see your beloved fall in love with someone else, the pain is almost physical.
If you have been following my previous articles, by now you should have a good understanding of the fundamentals of unrequited love and associated psychology. It might be wise to re-read those articles, or bookmark them to grab back whenever you encounter a subject that I have written about! I am going to return with more information on unrequited love soon. So, keep checking back.
Got something to share? Please write your experiences in the comments section and i will add them to my future blogs.