The Steps Out of Disappointment in Unrequited Love.
I know it is confusing, and difficult to sort out when a person is in unrequited love. Breaking it down into small and manageable parts allows you to look at all of the pieces to find out exactly why you are mis-creating. Those of you who have read my blog Unrequited Love and Cocaine, would know that despite the fact that unrequited love is connected with tension and anxiety, this state, mixed with hope of reciprocity leads the unrequited lover to feel extreme happiness to the level of euphoria. This reaction is similar to the effect of cocaine. Like cocaine, love increases the levels of serotonin, norepinephrine, and dopamine in the body. Because dopamine is associated with pleasure and causes the brain to think about pleasurable moments, narcotic drugs like cocaine increase the brain’s levels of dopamine and cause addiction. This scientifically explains why unrequited lovers are addicted to the object of love.
A love-obsessed person finds it difficult to accept reality of rejection and loneliness and is more often found waiting for the beloved to return into a broken relationship or accept the declined proposal. The random increase in the levels of dopamine and norepinephrine in the body provides constant energy for the unrequited lover to continue to wait for one person endlessly. However, this supply of energy is intermittent due to random rise and fall of neurotransmitters in the lover’s body, which leads them to fluctuating highs and lows.
The ‘Map’ of conscious creation reminds us to ask ourselves some questions when we are pursuing a relationship that is important only to us.
What do you actually desire?
A strong desire to intimate with another person physically and emotionally, when unreturned, becomes unrequited love. As I have discussed in my blog Falling In and Falling Out, fulfilment in life involves romantic relationships as a crucial element for many people. In the absence of a romantic relationship, most people tend to become desolate and lonely. An individual’s narcissist needs start anticipating an ideal romance after finding a partner. However, as the relationship grows, a more mature and realistic relationship will evolve from a healthy partnership. This will be strengthened by friendship, inter-dependence, loyalty and companionship kind of superego related values and not from unreturned, one-way love. Even if you are clear in your mind that you want just this one person for your life to be happy, I bet that nowhere in your list of intentions do you want your partner to not love you as much as you love them. Yet, this is all that you are getting by being in unrequited love. Aspire to create an exclusive, loving, joyful and fun-filled relationship for yourself.
What energy are you putting forth?
You constantly feel disappointed and desperate in unrequited love. Remember, the energy (in the form of thoughts and feelings and beliefs) you put out you get back. What you are creating is more disappointment and more desperation. Try imagining someone who loves you so much and is so deeply committed to you he cannot even imagine being with anyone else ever! And then take a look at the beliefs you hold about people and relationships. Beliefs are energy you are exuding 24/7! If you examine the people you are attracted to, date and make commitments to, or marry, you will see that you are different from all of them. And most of the problems in unrequited love, leading to a broken heart or a broken relationship, are because both individuals believe that they are so different. They have nothing in common. Notice here that both individuals are saying the same thing. Metaphysically speaking, the love of your life is a reflection of your own persona. Somewhere deep inside the Karma bank in your soul, is an entity. This being relates to the woman or the man in your life that you love. It is a major reflection of where you are in this part of your life with relationships.
What action are you taking?
I know you don’t want to hear this, but my suggestion is – go, date other people. If the person you love has any hope of being ‘the one’ for you, he will eventually show up and ask for an exclusive relationship. If not, good riddance! You deserve more. Meanwhile, there are lots of fish in the sea. Practice creating and see what you can manifest!
Please share your experiences and I will add them to my future blogs.