Step by Step.
Among all kinds of love that you can experience in a lifetime, unrequited love can turn out to be the worst feeling and the best teacher. If you are reading this post, you probably already know what unrequited love is. If not, you can read more about it in my blog Effects of Unrequited Love. Here are a few points to be remembered about unrequited love, before we get to ways of getting over it:
- Every time you feel you are in unrequited love, you might not be right.
- Unrequited love is not entirely your fault.
- You might be stuck with someone who wants to use your attention or your assets.
You need to keep these points in mind and make a conscious effort to put an end to this suffering. Make up your mind to get a hold of your life and bring back happiness in it.
Here are a few ways to guide you out of this drowning feeling:
Getting over unrequited love is a slow process. It requires a lot of determination and effort to let your heart heal. As I have mentioned in my blog Ways to Handle Unrequited Love, it has been proven that a broken heart is not just a metaphor. When a person is emotionally hurt, it is the same as a physical wound. It needs to be taken care of and it needs to heal as well. Unfortunately, we are not as well informed about taking care of the emotional wounds as we are about the physical wounds.
I have tried to put together a few steps to be followed in order to get over the pain caused by unreciprocated love. Following these steps will enable you to tear yourself away and regain sanity.
Disconnect
No matter how much the object of your love wants to keep you in their life for having a good time at your expense, for sex or even for platonic friendship; move away. If the relationship is not bringing happiness to you, it is not where you want to be. Remember, those who do not settle for anything but the best, more often get it. As I have written in my blog Why Unrequited Love?, at the point when your feelings in a relationship are not shared, the outcome can be excruciating for both of you, particularly for the person who is more dedicated to the relationship. Unrequited love — the most common topic for novels and movies, is one of the worst situations to be in. Simply knowing that your relationship falls under this category is all that is needed to make you take some difficult decisions in life. Mostly, it is the decision to stay in the relationship that is important only to the unrequited lover, but at times, it is the decision to walk out.
I am not going to tell you that it is easy. Especially so when both of you are married to each other, or work in the same office or study together. However, you are responsible for your own happiness and hence, you have to take the responsibility of getting yourself out of this mess.
It is quite possible that even when you have managed to separate yourself from your beloved and are making a conscious effort to stay away from them, you might meet them at a social gathering, or just bump into them at a mall. You might be obligated to sit together for a while. It is even more difficult when the other person is not aware of your feelings. Just talk to them in a friendly way, be cordial. Steer away from the conversation leading to how it used to be when you were together. Leave sooner than they would have expected.
Respect Yourself
In my blog Lifelong Unrequited Love, I have analysed that although love is a matter of the heart, a lot of it is controlled by the activities of the brain. The brain decides if that one person is worth it, the heart just follows. I personally do not understand how a person could happily just keep giving love and never complain about not being loved back. I do not understand how this feeling keeps growing without a response from the love object! For me, love is love only when it is mutual. When we are loved back, when there is oneness, desire, respect and fulfilment. Spiritually speaking, people who find themselves experiencing the pangs of unrequited love are weak and feel there is something missing in them. This emptiness makes them pursue an object of unrequited love.
Try to spend some time thinking about where you are going in this pursuit. Ask yourself some important questions. In my next post i will write more about what these questions should be and some more points to be remembered when you are in unrequited love.
Please share your experiences in the comments section and I will include them in my future blogs.