Insignificant Unrequited Love
Emotional pain may be different from physical pain, but a break-up or rejection literally crushes your heart in a way that you feel it breaking inside your chest like it was physically happening. Then you are angry at yourself for being in that situation and resort to destructive means, like smoking, drinking and in extreme cases, even attempt to commit suicide. A tendency to feel one way love has roots in some pretty basic things in human psychology and, in its more powerful aspects it can affect your emotions, thoughts, beliefs and actions – indeed your entire life experience. Not in a good way, either.
The best relationship is your relationship with yourself. The best experiences in life manifest with the highest levels of self-love and self-esteem. Because you are the Universe, you are the world, just start right here within your heart. You may read about this in detail in my blog Relationships and Spirituality. You feel trapped in a cycle of constantly pursuing relationships that resemble the unfulfilling one you had with your parents or other significant people in your life. I have always said in my articles that finding love in someone who doesn’t want to reciprocate the feeling is looking beyond the universe, because you are the universe; everything is within you.
Unreciprocated relationships can occur for several reasons. My extensive research on the subject leads me to believe that every unrequited lover can find someone to love them back, however, there are reasons why some of them remain in one-way love or fall in love with unavailable love objects. You may have been raised in a home where your parents did not give you the love and affection you needed, or gave it conditionally based on behavior or performance. Thus, you may still be unconsciously trying to win this love by attempting to find success in similar ‘unavailable’ relationships. Unrequited love hurts so much that is becomes unbearable. When your heart is breaking inside with the feeling of rejection, or to see your beloved fall in love with someone else, the pain is almost physical.
Displaying relentless is an important sign of one way love in the border land of unrequited love obsession. Read about this in detail in my blog Suffering Relationships in Unrequited Love. You will know this is a problem if you keep telling yourself that the object of your affection will surely change their mind if they just get to know you better, or if they would just give you one more chance to show how special a relationship with you could be. You might even go so far as to plan your day so you can run into this person ‘by chance’ or orchestrate ‘coincidental’ meetings. In other words, your blindness to reality has taken over your actions, too.
Self-regulation of an unrequited lover helps solve the primary purpose of enabling them to restrain themselves, to gain social acceptance. Humans learn about the world from each other. Social connection is the blood and breath of human life, and rejection strikes at its very core. Hence, it was found that if humans can restrain their selfish impulses so as to follow rules and cooperate, even after being rejected in unrequited love, they can gain the immense rewards of belonging and lead a normal life. Moving on in life requires both effort and sacrifice, but these are normally compensated by the benefits of belonging to your social group like you did before this entire episode. That is the essential social contract.
As discussed in my article Learn from Unrequited Love, from a spiritual perspective you might have a ‘past life’ connection with your beloved, which makes them feel incredibly familiar and your heart unknowingly goes out to them. An important sign of one way love in the border land of unrequited love obsession is idealization of the other person. Unrequited love can cause you to romanticize or idealize a person’s positive qualities to the extent that they become virtually flawless in your mind. You refuse to acknowledge their faults and exalt them so highly that you begin to believe no one else could ever compare. This person seems to you the ideal lover and you close your mind to other possibilities. In other words, your one-way love makes you go blind to reality.
So, open your eyes and let your heart find someone to return the feeling.