Desperation Leads to Unattainable Love.
Being too desperate to get into a relationship is a classic and universal relationship mistake, leading to unattainable love. Time is running out, biological clocks are noisily ticking like estrogen-filled time bombs threatening to explode, and panic sets in. Wanting a relationship is not the same as wanting to be in a relationship with a particular person. If you get too hung up on wanting a relationship as a general idea, you may fall into the trap of unattainable love.
Be Proud of Yourself
Don’t let your insecurities get the better of you. Desperation is an ugly little thing that can damage relationships. Desperation will drive potential dates away. Being confident and independent, prioritizing, and doing what’s best for you will pay off. Be proud of who you are and don’t change yourself for someone just to get another date. Be honest with him and yourself. Confidence, however, is a proven trait that will get you more dates and will make you happier in many other aspects of life aside from dating. Confident people are less likely to be in unattainable love.
Your world always reflects what you are sending out in the form of energy. When you are happy within, it reflects in your actions. You automatically become more attractive, because now you know that it is important to know a person well before you give your heart to them. This challenge of winning your heart makes you even more desirable to the opposite gender. I have written about this in my article Falling in Unrequited Love.
Be Who You Are
Don’t change yourself for the people you date because you will lose sight of who you are. If you are agreeing to like the same things he likes in the hopes he will like you more, or you are changing things about yourself for the same reason, it screams desperation. He should like you for who you are. If you are happy with what is happening in your reality, thank the universe and enjoy! If you are not happy, go back and redefine your dream, work on your beliefs and your thoughts and feelings, and take a different action. When I loved and lost for the first time, it made me feel like I’d never possibly love again, honestly.
Be Sure of the Relationship
If you are constantly seeking answers to questions like “What are we?” “Where is this going?”; if you are asking for weekly relationship updates, you’re going to drive your partner away. It’s like driving a five-hour trip and having a little kid asking “are we there yet?” every five minutes. Needing constant reassurance shows your own insecurity about being in a relationship. Focus less on the status of the relationship and more on getting to know the person. The status will come with time.
Give it Time
A new relationship is supposed to make you feel happy. Although, in general, the “honeymoon period” of a relationship is believed to end after 6-12 months, when lovers start getting used to each other’s presence, the period is different for every couple. A new love affair is a major boost to one’s outlook on life. However, keep in mind that your new partner might simply be testing the waters with you and being too involved too early can put a wedge in your relationship. If you’re planning the life you and your partner are going to have together, and it has only been a few months, you need to slow down. Take your time and enjoy getting to know the person before you get overly involved.
Give Space
Constantly texting, calling and trying to spend every waking moment with him might look like you are being clingy. If you are trying to be part of every single part of his day, he will feel like you aren’t giving him space, and it will scare him away. You don’t need to be with him every second of the day. Actually, it’s better if you aren’t. Give him or her room to breathe. Give him space and, in turn, be sure your space is respected as well. Forcing constant contact merely sheds light on your insecurities.
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