Benefits of Unrequited Love.
Unrequited love seems like the worst possible experience, with loneliness, self-doubt and heartache being the highlights of each day. It is devastating to have your heart call out to someone who is not even aware of your feelings, or worse, doesn’t feel the same. But hey! Stop before you think there is nothing that you can benefit from in this one-sided love. It can actually be good for you, even though you might not feel it right now.
We have all been there, done that. It does hurt, but you get over it and eventually move on. Trust me when I say that your life isn’t over. You will be surprised at what lies ahead! After the initial shock of rejection or heartbreak, you suddenly realize that all the pain was worth it. It made you a better, even happier person. Unrequited love happens, but this is just a preparation for a better, stronger love in the future.
- You Learn the True Meaning of Love
Love isn’t always violins playing in the background – it’s a pain in the wrong place like no other. You learn the true meaning of love after having loved someone (outside of friends, family and your dog) and not being loved in return. You understand the actual difference between love and lust when you are in love and it is not reciprocated; you understand what you really want. With that comes the question – is this what I truly want? The immediate answer might be – yes. But give yourself some time and the answer is bound to change. You want to be happy in love. You don’t want to be hurt and lonely all the time, which is exactly what you got in the unrequited love.
- You Discover Yourself
As mentioned in my blog “Supernatural Forces in Unrequited Love“, couples sometimes part after being together for a long time. One of the partners unexpectedly switches off, and turns cold or unresponsive, leaving the other individual in unrequited love. This makes the abandoned individual lonely because he is still in love and is longing to be loved back. There are also situations of each individual being married to another person, or both living a distance apart. All of these situations cause deep emotional turmoil in the lives of people suffering in love.
Your beloved hurts you in more ways than he even realizes, because he truly doesn’t feel the same. To me, unrequited love is the ultimate form of rejection. But in the process of dealing with this, you actually learn to deal with rejection in the future. When you are madly in love, you want to change yourself to be everything that you think your beloved wants to see in a partner. But with time, you get into a habit of doing it for yourself. You become aware of your shortcomings and start improving to become a much better version of yourself.
Once you have rediscovered yourself, you emerge as a more confident individual. You start going out with friends and having a good time, initially just to take your mind off what has happened, and later, because you discover that it makes you happy. So it is not just stalking your love on Facebook or eating ice cream to overcome depression anymore. You realize that small things in life can often make a lot of difference.
- You Learn the Value of Relationships
Some people fall head over heels in love with another person, immediately after the heartbroken haze of facing rejection from their beloved is over. It might not seem like a benefit, but it makes you do two things. First, this time you hold back your feelings until you have a hunch about how the other person feels. You play safe and do not make a fool of yourself. Second, you realize that you don’t really need anyone to make you happy. All the bad things that you felt didn’t break you and now you’re happy again.
When you are happy within, it reflects in your actions. You automatically become more attractive, because now you know that it is important to know a person well before you give your heart to them. This challenge of winning your heart makes you even more desirable to the opposite gender.
The ‘bad phase’ of your life also gives your friends and family a chance to show you how much they care. While they’re trying everything to get you out of the mess, your relationships with each of them are growing stronger.
- It makes you love ‘safely’
When I loved and lost for the first time, it made me feel like I’d never possibly love again, honestly. It just hurt too much. Along the way, when someone proved that the unrequited love was not the only love of my life, I realized – if I felt this strongly about someone who didn’t love me, how much more would I love someone who loved me back? And when I found that person, I discovered a new meaning of love. The fulfillment of your love being reciprocated is much more than the pain you felt in unrequited love. You begin to see how foolish you were to have wasted so much emotion where it wasn’t even required.
On the other hand, if commitment is a problem for you, unrequited love is your best friend. This is especially true if you’ve never disclosed your true feelings to the other person. You can continue to love them without any demands or commitments. The choice is entirely yours to make.
Loving someone doesn’t guarantee that you will be loved back. Don’t let it ruin you. There is a silver lining to this cloud too!