Be the Light in Unrequited Love.
When you have been through unrequited love, rejection and the grief of loneliness, and are now comfortable in your sexuality, help bring others to a similar place. When you meet someone who looks like a prospective match, but has had a rough phase in his recent relationship, play your role in helping them out of it. Offer a helping hand.
I am not suggesting getting involved in it professionally. Maybe, you could start by doing this in your intimate relationships. Being sensitive to your lover’s concerns and needs is a good start. Be compassionate and patient in your sexual explorations. Take time to articulate how it feels, how pleasurable the experience is for both of you, discuss the effect that your bodies have on each other and talk about the joy of sharing intimate moments with your partner. If one of you have gone through the pain of unrequited love, you can become a good carrier for comfort to another person who has been affected by it and still needs help.
Don’t run away at the prospect of having to mentor your lover into being better able to meet your deeper sexual desires and making the experience better for both of you. Make sure they understand that it has benefit for both.
By contributing to a greater understanding and awareness around sexuality, we are helping to create a world in which sexuality is expressed more naturally and in which our gift of deep sexuality can be more readily received. We can also gently challenge commonly accepted views that we don’t agree with. As they appear in conversations around us, we can voice out our opinion and hope for it to make a difference to someone who is listening. This can also be done in broader circles, as a voluntary teacher and guide, with friends and acquaintances. Discussing topics that are considered taboo, and clearing the air about them may help the unrequited lovers understand there is life beyond the pain of rejection.
Ideas like seeking satisfaction outside a relationship is wrong, wanting sex is wrong, that wanting more sex than a partner does is wrong, self-pleasuring is something to be embarrassed about, etc., can have a huge impact on someone who is lonely and has questions about one or all of these matters. Allowing these to be perpetuated, by staying silent out of a fear of rejection, isn’t of benefit to anyone.
A relationship usually starts nice and romanti, gradually losing the sheen and turning to something you never wanted it to be. By the time you realise something is wrong, it gets so bad, you find it difficult to handle it right and you cannot afford to lose it either, because you are hopelessly in love. When the roller coaster drama begins, your life turns upside down. Initially, your beloved makes you feel on top of the world, cherished, desired, important. As though a divine script were being written, events seem to unfold magically, piercing through the walls of your lonely heart. Some blissful high envelopes you. Yet, unfortunately, it doesn’t last. At some point, something happens, you wonder why you begin to feel a little drained where you once felt excitement and passion.
Women can often fall hopelessly in love with men who are not Karma clear, and have no intention of being karma clear either. The fact is, men have an inbuilt secret intention of pleasing every woman, especially if she is pretty and available. Whatever they do is to make every woman feel special. A karma unclear person has natural magnetism. Ever heard people say “evil attracts”? While this person is capable of attracting many individuals of the opposite gender, it is your duty to check for signs and make sure you are not falling for someone who, later will only lead you to heartbreak. People falling in love with such a person are responsible because they’ve created this.
It is always good to associate with someone who allows you to grow. A good relationship is where both partners feel the support of being pushed to achieve their best, yet being loved for what they are. Let your partner feel important in the relationship. Praise and encouragement can work better than power and controlling. If you are able to convey this to the unrequited lovers, confused lovers, people in unattainable love, or those who are in one-way love in or out of a relationship, you have definitely made good use of what unrequited love has taught you. Be the light.