Apparent Opposites in Unrequited Love.
While going through separation in unrequited love, it is important to be compassionate. Be true to what you feel and be kind to what the other feels. I have written about this in my blog Moving On in Unrequited Love. Be willing to compromise or let go of all that is important – assets, relationships, custodies, etc. In the long run, you will see that everything can be recovered with time; yes, even relationships. If you are going to lose a friend, because of your one-way feelings, so be it. Once you have got your feelings under control, you can always try to be friends again. Money, assets, children, everything will fall into place, with time.
Discover what the inner voice is saying, and for that, you need to stand in a place that looks ‘opposed’ to what dear ones especially the family will say or advise. As I have discussed in my blog The Spiritual Gifts, to programme your mind and heart to accept that your love is never going to be fulfilled is a huge spiritual lesson. This lesson is not easy to learn, and one requires constant practice to remain content in this situation.
The important thing you will learn here is that ultimately no one, I repeat no one can ever know the pain that you are going through. Only you will be facing the consequences of your stand and decision. After all, consciously or subconsciously, you were the one to have brought this on yourself. While it is always easier to give advice than take it, it is equally difficult to see the red flags in unrequited love while we are really quick at locating them in other people’s lives and telling them “I told you so”.
This is why we often find ourselves in unrequited love or sinking relationships, with no understanding of how we reached there. In my blog Hopeless Unrequited Love, I have written that a relationship usually starts as a nice romantic relationship, gradually losing the sheen and turning to something you never wanted it to be. By the time you realise something is wrong, it gets so bad, you find it difficult to handle it right and you cannot afford to lose it either, because you are hopelessly in love. There certainly must be some warning signs? What do we miss that could’ve warned us?
What’s done is done. Now that you have realised that it’s time to move on, be at peace. Yes, initially there will be social, emotional and financial struggles to deal with, but that’s nothing in comparison to struggling with a broken relationship. For some of us the monetary loss might be more important, and that’s fine too. Just that if you choose to stay for money, expect only that; money.
There are going to be more separations in the future, when your children grow up and leave home, losing parents, even friends and clients. There might even come a time when you will ask yourself – What is it that you really want? What are you attached to? Don’t let these questions bother you. You are actually able to see intellectually through a situation and let go of what is over. The pain you have felt was real, and yet you had the sense to make the right decisions. You recognised and honoured the call from your higher self, asking you to reconnect; no longer postponing it to a more convenient time. As I have written in my blog Significant Separations and Unrequited Love, separation is like being called to join a world of transformation, a world of personal evolution. A new life beckons you. First step is always the most difficult to take; whether it is walking out of a failing marriage, a love affair, or even quitting a job. But once you have taken the first step, you will find what you were born to do, who you were born to be, or be with. You realise that you have taken your first step towards discovery and fulfilment. Like the banyan tree from which many trees are born, giving birth to a forest; nature celebrates separation. The human mind has yet to learn the art of joy in separation.
To be nakedly honest at least with yourself is vital. Being willing to hear the voice of your higher self, is to come to terms with reality, and reality is absolute, it has no other way but to be true! When you realise the inter-connectedness of apparent opposites – life and death, separation and love, , relationship & aloneness, you will know what I mean when I say that separation deepens love; being alone brings the true value of future relationships.
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